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The Colourful & Artsy Letter

The final letter whose result was a tie to The Letter [View the poll here] was written by Ee Jane to me back in 2007 upon our graduation. Haha! Tak sangka our letters can also have same result. Say YAY to telepathy for now! xD

The letter was four A4 pages long and there are absolutely no empty space left! Hahahaha! I love long letters because they are always so thoughtful. I really can’t remember where, when and how did she give me this letter. It doesn’t comes with an envelope because I kept it in a special file. Until today, her letter cannot be folded at all because it came unfolded so I don’t intend to fold it as well =P…

She gave me the nickname Hunny Bunny and Polar Bear but until today, only Polar Bear stuck to me =P. It’s kinda true that nicknames that she gave people stuck to them but whatever nicknames we gave her, we will actually forget about it until we need to use it. The full story of her first paragraph can be found in the first paragraph of this post here. Good thing that I blogged about it before! =P

Kesian saya, first paragraph also sudah kena blame hahahaha! It is a norm now that whenever something happens, it is always never her fault. Everyone will either blame it on Nano or someone else =P. Seems like it is a good thing that our friendship circle expanded… Can blame someone else =P !! The number of times that we gaduh in Convent is EPIC. It is so epic that I don’t even how many times or even what we argued about! I guess we are both forgetful people so yea, sudah lupa hahahahaha! xD

It’s true that we trust each other a lot [For now] and I would never dream/think that she would do anything wrong to me. Even if she did, she is quick to admit her mistake. We both promised each other that we will always be on each other’s number one friendship list no matter what happened. I don’t know why and how we made this promise but I think it is all this sesat stuff that keeps our friendship till today.

I like how she says we are both meant to learn from one another. I learnt from her that having a big heart enough to forgive people is actually not that tough. I do admit that I am not the most forgiving person around but I try [And fail most of the time]. Also, I have learnt from her that we have to stand up for our own rights and speak up for ourselves if we are ever oppressed. I really salute this woman’s bravery.

Ee Jane just implied in her letter that I wasn’t very understanding hehe! I do believe that I am much more understanding now after being so ignorant and selfish for so many years. Haha! I think I wanna salute all my best friends [Past and present] for bearing with me. Today, I try to think more before I talk or do anything but it can be really challenging. I would say that I am very spontaneous and I will only think if I have to think. If I don’t have to think, I would not think at all.

Does this makes you wonder what I think about all day long? I think about money and other bimbo stuff if that pleases you! =P No la, sometimes I do think about people and the good memories 🙂 .

Reading this entire paragraph made me see why people love me so much. Rupa-rupanya I am so nice! Hehe! I didn’t even realize it okay! I did it for her because we are best friends! I took her cycling to a secluded area and we were happy that we explored a new place. Mana tahu… Balik rumah kena marah for our bravery. Now that I think about it, it was too silly of us hahahaha! What were we thinking about!!! Really tak pakai otak lo. Thank God nothing happened to us!

I am so sorry for being impatient and lazy. I always try to be more patient and less lazy but in the end, still very impatient and lazy =P… I can’t remember what concert we watched? Was it Malaysian Idol? O.O … That’s the only thing I could think up of! I miss the tom yam yee mee at Tong Shen but now sudah tak ada. Uhh… So sad! T____T !!!

Oh yea, Ee Jane and I created a world called Pluto because it is the furthest planet from the Sun [Correct? Lazy to check Wikipedia hahaha!] and we are like the outcast in class. We didn’t really bother anyone else and don’t remember anyone existed until they join our world/madness =P . Good thing that she sedar I did more work and she dictated me around hahaha! Step, it is your turn now!!! =P !!! Enjoy it while it last! =P

Her first P/S is epic. Hahaha! She knew that I would blog about it one fine day and I did so after 7 years xD ! Last last in the surat still must blame me =X But if she doesn’t blame me, then she isn’t Low Ee Jane anymore xD !

And she too, dedicated an entire page of drawing to me! The drawing is on our little adventure la. More details below!! =D

Everyone… This is me dragging her around everywhere whenever she is not feeling well or just plainly lazy hahahahaha! I can’t really think what is she lazy about apart from doing homework and copying notes but I believe sure ada punya just that I can’t remember right now. Please confess!

This is us eating tom yam yee mee at Tong Shen! The clay pot is too recognizable! Hehehe! I am guessing she is the girl on the left because her pinafore is always hanging down one side sebab too longgar =P.

And this is Ee Jane being my dentist because there is a fish bone or something stuck in between my teeth *Paiseh*. Ah… Now semua tahu this hal T____T !

This is us pergi jalan-jalan! xD I am guessing she is the one on the left because the mata got more cat feel and errr, I don’t wear jacket out punya hehehe! Am I right?! xD

I wanted to share this Chinese New Year card with you guys because it is handmade by Ee Jane. I haven’t properly go through my stash of cards so I am sure there are more handmade cards. Hehe! Isn’t it cute?!

The interior of the card! =) Isn’t it lovely? I really love it! Oh ya, her other nickname is Sugar Stick but no one ever calls her that. All in all, I hope that you have enjoyed my cards posts a lot because I DO have a lot of fun writing about them! All this thoughtful cards and letters will always bring back memories of friendship which I have forgotten. So I guess, it is not only pictures that can paint a thousand words but cards and letters too can paint a thousand pictures. I really do appreciate everything that people gave me and whenever I am upset, I would read it back because I can feel their love ❤ 🙂 .

The Letter

There is a tie between The Letter and The Colourful and Artsy Letter in the poll. Right now, I will first write/disclose The Letter because let’s save the best for the last [The best between the two tie letters] ! Hehehe!

The Letter is actually an unsent letter. It was a letter written by me in reply to a then best friend’s letter. The letter was never given to him because I feel that he simply isn’t worth it. Our friendship went through many ups and downs because of his stupidity. Today, I consider this friendship gone because I really had enough. There are reconciliation efforts taken by this best friend but I can never bring myself to reciprocate this effort. Mainly it is because I don’t want to be hurt anymore and I do not want to be reminded of his extreme stupidity.

This letter was written back in February 2009. If the then said best friend is ever reading this post, I really don’t know how he would feel! Imagine getting a reply that you have been waiting for back then 5 years later!

He wrote me a letter and honestly, I was very surprised when I received it! Anyway, his letter wasn’t very pleasing la. He wrote it very nicely but I guess, he didn’t know that the content of the letter is hurtful. Even today when I read it, I was reminded of how obvious he made it that I was just an option and never a priority. I stuck around being friends with him because I value our friendship enough.

In his letter, he mentioned that our friendship is blessed by God and he hopes that I will give us a chance to be together. In all honesty, I have never thought about being with him at all [For now] because the kind of closeness that we share is only at the friendship level. At the point of writing that letter to him, my feelings were mixed up because there are so many things to worry about. STPM is at the end of the year and there are quite a few issues in friendship to be solved at that point.

In his letter, he mentioned his ex-girlfriend and the entire story disappointed me. I am okay with you liking me [In fact, I will be surprised] but I hate it when you take me as a rebound and perhaps, you see it as an easy way out. To me, this is one of the worst friendship betrayal you can ever do unto me. I have always felt that feelings don’t fade away as easily and many times, I can sense how people feel but I just don’t say it out.

Even until today, some best friends told me that if I ever date him, he would love me very much. I do agree but I am also very sure that his extreme stupidity will annoy me 1038373832919 times. Apart from that, I will always be reminded that how he goes after me because I am the best friend who is always there for him. The latter will scare me off enough. Hahaha! Sudah kena blacklist for now.

Even until today, I still love my freedom very much. In fact, if I am ever restricted, I would feel very miserable. For now, relationships are not for me. It confuses me all the time – did I bring the wrong attitude/mindset into a relationship or I happen to meet the wrong/dumb guys. I really don’t know. Mel is right, I am very afraid of falling in love so the moment I realized that the guy is not as good as he seems to be, I would be very glad and thank God for it [Based on a real story].

I realize that I would ignore and try to walk away from any friendship that has potential to turn into relationship. It scares me very, very much although people say it is good to marry your best friend. In my case, I am afraid of crossing the border of friendship and bringing it to love relationship. What if it didn’t work out and we are left with nothing?

The final part of the letter will not be uploaded because I mentioned his name and this is supposed to be anonymous! Hahaha! So whoever who knows this person, don’t say a word 😉 Just keep it to yourself. To be fair, I will type out the final part of the letter below:

…once in a relationship, there is a limit to everything that one does. I just hope that you understand that I am not fit to be in a relationship right now and we should just remain as best friends =). 

Please don’t wait for me, it will not be fruitful… I don’t want to waste your time. Just trust me, I am not the one for you. There are many more things I wish I could tell you, but I think it’s best that it was left unsaid. But anyway, we will stay as best friends! Okay? =) Take care. 

Reading back this entire letter reminded me of the many things I have been wanting to tell him but I didn’t dare to because his opinion might be biased and prejudiced. I can’t remember if I ever tell him about it but right now, it is no longer important. He used to be one of my best friends whom we never get bored of seeing one another but today, it is never the same anymore. Also, I completely did not intend to reply the last part of his letter because it spells desperation.

This entire post reminded me of a genius advice given by Nano to me recently regarding some people in my life right now:

His feelings might be true but his stupidity is unacceptable!

Such a true and wise piece of advice which I never except to hear it from Nano.

The Envelope Sealed with A Smile and Ribbon

Aha! So according to the poll here, you are curious about the content of this envelope. This was a letter written by Nano to me after STPM. She put the letter in my house letterbox and the most epic part? I didn’t even know about it! Haha! I didn’t know that she is good at giving surprises! Hehehe!

When I first got the letter, I was wondering who sent it to me! Then I saw the cute smile and neat ribbon, I knew it has to be a female sender [Hahaha!!! Look at the pinkness of the ribbon and attention to detail – not something I would think a guy would do =P ]. I think she did text me so that I would check my mailbox but somehow I was quite shock when I saw this cute envelope. Ah, I just I just woke up or came back from somewhere so yea, I am overwhelmed [Actually I refuse to admit that I sesat-ed for a moment].

I felt really excited when I was opening the envelope! Hehehe! Well, it is like opening up a birthday/Christmas present and I was even more sure that it was a female sender because of the colourful writing as well as decorative paper! =P Well, I have yet to know/meet guys who actually write using colourful pens on decorative papers! =P And if I do know/stumble upon any, I’ll let you know! Maybe he’s one artistic dude yea! 😉

From the very first word of the letter, I was overwhelmed till the very last word. Yes, this letter is indeed a surprise and I love good surprises! ❤

I think my farewell letter to Nano was a rather sad one that’s why she started off the opposite way in her opening paragraph! =P That year in Upper 6 before or after STPM, I wrote many letters to best friends and friends because I really appreciate their presence in my Form 6 life. Without them, LIFE IS SO DULL AND DOWN. Everyone in Form 6 [Yes, even the kiasu and annoying one] has made my life so much better. Honestly, they taught me to be a better person  and I have always believed that my life in Form 6 has to be one of the turning points in my life for the better. I may not be that number 1 student in school, but from this, I have learnt to always give and try my best. Giving up is never an option for now.

Nano was so happy to see me on the first day of Lower 6 and I wasn’t thrilled at all hahahahahaha! [You can read all about it here] I was such a mean person but well, her niceness changed me so I guess, that’s something good. Honestly without her in KHS, my life would be duller than ever because I have no one to disturb/irritate every single day of my life. Hahahahahahahaha! I bet you miss me irritating you now! =P Come to think about it, Nano is a really active student in Convent and I think she has decided to focus on studies in Form 6 until I dragged her out for activities.

I joined countless activities when I was in Form 6 and I absolutely love them but once I enter university, I have a different purpose. In all honesty, I have learnt a lot life skills and gained lots of valuable experiences from all the extra co-curricular activities in Form 6. So much that when I entered university, when I am put to do the same thing, I got really bored because I didn’t get to learn anything. In the end, I opted to work while studying and this has enriched my exposure to the working world as well as my wallet for now… Hehehe!

I miss chatting Nano over the phone too! Especially when she says:

Wait ah, I go get biscuit/food first.

Sorry ah you gained weight hahahahahahahahahaha! Anyway, I am really glad that throughout my university years, Nano and I did keep in touch so we basically know each other friends [I even ganged up with her friends to bully her =P *Win!*] which is a very good thing! So I guess, it is the effort that you make in order to keep the distance closer to one another 😉 !

The thing about friendship is – most of the time you learn from one another. You extract what is good about the other person and learn/try to emulate this good point of theirs. It’s like trying to make a fusion of your friend’s good side with yours. So yes, good friends make you a better person. What I have learnt from Nano is to keep things simple so that I don’t have to think so much. Things are really great once you keep it simple. Well, if you overdo it, you will end up being ignorant so finding a balance is the key to it.

The thing about being true to myself and everyone else – people either love it or hate it. Sometimes with people, you gotta act and pretend because they like watching movie so you gotta be one helluva Oscar Award Best Actress winner. Well, I guess now I will choose to show my true self to certain people because most of the time, no one appreciates it.

All the time, I am really grateful to have true friends [For now] because sometimes, I feel like such a nasty person like me don’t deserve them! Hahaha! I think they are all such good friends with high level of patience and toleration. Well, I guess I should give credits to myself for being a good friend too. If I am so bad, I don’t think anyone wanna be friends with me anymore lo =P… Anyway, I hope Nano means the REAL Barney and not the cetak rompak Barney in this post. Just in case you are wondering, the cetak rompak Barney looks like this:

Just convince me again that this isn’t Barney ==…

Hehe! I am very honoured that you used this big word on me! Very terharu as well. Well, I guess we love each other [For now!] enough to use the word. And yes my Nano, I kept the letter and it was well kept lagi tu okay! See, I appreciate it so, so much! ❤

Bits And Pieces of Those Letters

24th October 2008

Today, when I woke up from my sleep, I sat on my bed, thinking about next year. I wonder at this very same date, would I remember you as how I remembered you right now? Will it come a day where you realized that I’d have walked away?

Something in me, is telling me that we don’t belong to each other and that, we are not meant for each other. Something in me, tells me that I am insignificant in your life.

To this person, the last thing that I’ve said to you – remains the same until this very day : ) I have always prayed and wished for the best – for you because we were best of friends once upon a time. 

~*~

24th August 2009

I know I can say nothing to make you feel better or happier. But I hope, this letter has at least put a smile on your face.

To this person, I feel sorry for myself for even trying my best to make you feel better because in the end, you don’t even appreciate it. 

~*~

30th October 2009

Once you told me over the SMS that you don’t deserve such a nice friend like me.

To this person, you were right. I was so dumb. 

~*~

Reading back all this letters that I’ve written to 3 of my used to be best/close friends made me laugh because I am glad that I first remembered the good times that we had together when we were still on talking terms instead of the bad memories/nightmare that they have given me : ). At the same time, I did not regret for everything that I did and said because I believe that I was sincere enough but yea, I guess you are not even bothered! 😉

The Happiest Day of 2010

As promised in this post, I will blog about my acceptance into University of Malaya as one of my happiest day in 2010 =P. But come to think about it, I think I would start off the story from the day I received my STPM result which happens to be another happiest day in 2010 for me as well =D. Well, seems like we have two stories going on and yea, here we go :

The class of 6BF before the 6 of us from 6BE transferred to 6BF. [So, if you curious about this class changing thing that is captioned in the photo above, I suggest that you click on this link and yea, read on and you will know more about it =P]

On 25th February 2010, I was one of the first student who received my result slip with trembling hands and with a fearful heart. When the result was handed to me, I held on to it tightly but I did not open it. I remember staring at it while telling myself that this is the slip that will either be my ticket to enter local university or a ticket that blows my whole future away.

.

The class of 6BE before the 6 of us left to 6BF. 

I saw most of my schoolmates who are already in tears. Some of it are tears of happiness but most of it were tears of remorse and disappointment. I was fearful. Fearful of what lies in the slip and I was fearful of what if I cried of remorse and disappointment because in my whole life, I have never cried over any examination result [Yes, including SPM] because to me, it is not a great big deal anyway. But STPM is a great big deal for me at that moment.

The class of 6AF/2009 =). 

I remembered very clearly that I walked out of the school hall and it was then I told myself that the results were already released and there is nothing I can do about it anymore so I shall be very, very brave and face my own result without any fear. The more I console myself, the more fearful I became but in the end, I managed to gather all the courage that I have and tore the results open.

6AE/2009 =). 

When I calculated my pointer, it was below my expectation and honestly, I was upset and somewhat disappointed but I have no idea what drove me to walk into the school hall again. I did not cry and honestly, I am very proud of myself although I know that my results did not reach my expectations. When I met Miss Heng, my Physics teacher who hugged me when she saw me, congratulating me on my result; I was surprised because to me, my result is a great disappointment to myself =|…

And I miss my vain friends and that’s Farid in the photo =P… 

It was after meeting Miss Heng, I realized that I calculated my pointer very wrongly by a less of 0.43 and when I saw my actual result by recalculating it thrice; I burst into tears. And it was tears of happiness and gratitude and everyone around me thought that I was crazy for crying so much but the truth is, I don’t care how ugly I looked like at that time because to me, I am one step nearer to my dreams and nothing else matters anymore =P !

Scribbling on school’s property =X… 

Upon receiving our STPM result, we begin to apply for universities – local and abroad. At that time, I knew that I had enough of science subjects and I am so sure that I am going to take a rope and hang myself on the moving fan if I ever have to flip through any Chemistry books @___@ . It was then I decided that I wanted to be accepted into the University of Malaya for many reasons and one of it, is for the course that I am currently in right now .

Interact Club =) 

Before the final date of submission of the UPU website, everyone began to ask one another questions on what course and university did they apply and stuff like that. When it comes to me, the moment they knew that half of my university application went to University of Malaya and my first choice was University of Malaya, their reactions were very discouraging and this is what I was discouraged with [The summary of what almost everyone said]:

Are you crazy? University of Malaya is like one of the hardest and toughest university to get in. 

It is unwise of you to place all your top choices on UM. You are betting your future away with UPU. I wouldn’t be surprise if you ended up getting nothing or somewhere else far away. 

UM ONLY LIKE MATRICULATION STUDENTS WITH 4.00 POINTER LA!!

PT6 =) =D 

Honestly, I was rather discouraged when I heard those discouragement but I know that they are not completely wrong =|. But nevertheless, I did not change my choices and I stayed with them because I told myself I can get through it no matter what happens. My parents and Nano are the only people who encouraged me to have the persistent determination to keep holding on when everyone else thinks that I am crazy for making such decisions.

Nano and I sampat-ing after our Pengajian Am seminar =P. 

After our local university application was closed, I wouldn’t lie that I broke down many times because I knew for a fact that I was indeed placing a bet with UPU and I have been on the phone over a million of times with Nano whenever I break down. There was once when I told Nano another reason why I wanted UM so badly and it was then, I realized that I wasn’t just fighting for an admission into UM.

Nano and I sleeping during the boring Pengajian Am seminar =|…

I remember that I prayed everyday before I sleep that by God’s grace and with the intercession of Mother Mary and the help with all the angels and saints that I have prayed to would help me to be called for an interview for my course in UM and then, to earn a seat for myself in UM. The day of the result for courses with interview came and I was still asleep when the phone call from UM came in so yea, I woke up immediately when I heard the person over the phone saying that they are from UM xD =P .

I was over the moon when I received the phone call asking me to attend an interview in UM in less than a week time. Without even bothering to change or washing up, I ran down and told my whole family and called Nano to share the good news with her but I did not tell any other friends because I do not want to hear any discouragement anymore. To me, this is when my battle for an admission into UM had officially begun and it is… war time! =X

Classroom vandalism =X… 

I went back to KHS to get my certificates certified for my interview the following week and all the teachers were surprised to see me. When I told them about my interview for my course, they were congratulating me but the moment they heard that the call was from UM, here comes all the discouragement from them which clearly disappointed me in so many ways.

Don’t be too happy yet. They just called you for an interview but that doesn’t means that you will be accepted. 

Oh, they might just call the whole bunch of people who applied that course for interview. It is hard to be selected anyway. You might see a hundred over people there you know. To be chosen out of a hundred applicants is something very tough. 

You may want to try to appeal to other universities when the results are released. 

I know what they said make sense but still, I couldn’t help but to feel terribly disappointed and the two teachers who encouraged me were Miss Heng and Puan Vasantha =).

Nano and I during KHS Sport’s Day =D. 

Upon returning from KHS, I phoned Nano and complained to her about the teachers’ attitude and she in return said this to me:

Yor… You ah! You ah!! Actually what they say make sense also lo although very kejam… But just do your best!! Go for the interview with your best confidence and do like how you do for your MUET speaking and public speaking competitions!! Do well in your interview and when you are accepted, they can’t say anything already!! 

It was then, I realized that it is a do or die situation for me and I told myself that no matter what, I must strive and do my best for the interview because that determines my bet in my university application form. And I told myself that I must and can get through the interview no matter what happens and I must march into KHS with the UM acceptance letter in my hand.

L-R: LeiKen, Nano, Sin Yee, Ooi Jie, Miss Adorable =P. 

On the day of the interview, I was there with my father and he was telling me in the bus that about his experience/stories in UM. Then he went on telling me about how nice it is if I am accepted into UM. When I heard what he said, I felt another pressure added on me. It made me even more determined to do well in the interview and to be accepted into UM. Honestly, the interview was one of the fiercest fights that I have ever put on in my whole life because there are too many reasons why I wanted to be in UM.

Neo and Nano! =D

During the interview, I had the exact same determination of wanting to slap some teachers in KHS in their face for giving me low marks in MUET speaking as compared to their favourite students [And thank you, I have proved to you that YOU WERE SO WRONG ABOUT ME! =) ] and for denying me a chance to represent the school in the district level public speaking competition although I won the public speaking competition in school [And I took it all back on our graduation day =) ] but just because I wasn’t experienced enough in that field, I was denied of a chance =).

Yes, that very same determination crept in and it was then I thought of my parents, Nano, Ee Jane and another person and how I would like to march into KHS with that acceptance letter, I fought fiercely in the interview – showing my deepest interest to be accepted into UM. When the interview ended, I had no regrets at all because I believe that no matter what happens, I have already did my best and when I have done my part, I guess I will always leave the rest to God =).

Some happy moments in 6AE =P… 

After the interview, I waited for another two months for UPU result to be released. When it was released, I saw my name alongside with my first choice and I cried because I was too happy. I couldn’t believe my eyes that I was accepted into UM and all my nights of crying and days of breaking down was actually worth it all and at that time, nothing else matters anymore .

Believe it or not, I actually checked the UPU website every single day to make sure that my name and my first choice is still there [And not disappeared out of the blue =X =P ] and when the acceptance letter arrived at my house, I woke up everyday and stare at it to make sure that it is there =X. You know, I felt like I was seriously in a dream so yea, gotta check it everyday to make sure that IT IS STILL THERE!! =X

Me – sampat-ing with Nano’s rubberband =X… 

I couldn’t wait to go back to KHS with the acceptance letter to slap all the teachers back in their faces alongside with people who had discouraged me in so many ways. When I returned to KHS [If my memory did not fail me, it is exactly a year ago since I return to KHS with the acceptance letter from UM =P], there are no longer discouragements but everyone congratulated me, telling me how happy they were for me and how lucky I was to be accepted into UM. Honestly, I felt proud to walk up the hill of KHS into the staffroom just to let them know that I was accepted into UM just because I am crazy enough to gamble away and risk my university application .

When some schoolmates/classmates heard about my UPU result, they actually discouraged by saying that I was accepted because I switched from the science stream to the arts. Honestly, I was very, very offended because to me, I had fought a long and hard battle to be accepted into UM and I don’t get accepted just because I switched stream. I fought my way through and if you wanted UM as badly as I do, you could have fought your way through as well.

~*~

On a final note, to all who are awaiting for an admission into any university, don’t ever, ever give up and be discouraged by anyone [And don’t even discourage anyone by the way!] =D. Perseverance and patience will get you through and yes, the gate of local university may be small but that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t be ONE of them who could have the chance to get through that small gate =).

So all in all, I owe my family [Especially my mother and father =D !! <3~!!], Nano, Miss Heng and Puan Vasantha a billion of thank you for all the support =) ! And not to forget, Ee Jane, Kean Jie, Helen, Ching Yin, Brian and everyone else for the encouragements before STPM, I don’t think I can do it without the encouragement from you guys!! =)

But most of all, thank you God, Mother Mary, all the angels and saints for all the blessings and for holding my hands, guiding me through all this insane roller coaster rides =D. Yeaps, when God brings me to it, He will always bring me through it =D ! Amen!! =D

When I was… I remember…

This post is inspired by a few of Kean Jie’s tweet on Twitter that starts with When I was… I remember…, which also happens to be the title of today’s post! So yea, in this post, basically you will be watching me as I grow up to who I am today and the friends that I’ve made along the way and with some meaningful stuff for me that reminded me of that particular year. Here we go :

When I was 1 years old, I don’t remember anything at all and everyone who knew me when I was a baby told me that I was extremely adorable and cute and this photo proves it all! 

This is me, on my 2nd birthday =P.

When I was 2 years old, I still don’t remember anything and I don’t even remember this photo being taken and my dad told me that I was quite shy when I was young . Wait, does he simply means that I am very tak tau malu now?!?! 

When I was 3 years old,I remember that Cassandra was born and I went to the hospital to see her. Actually, I don’t remember it at all but suddenly, I remembered seeing myself there as I am typing this post.

Samantha, Cassandra, Ferlynne

When I was 4 years old, I remember pretending to go to school with Ferlynne and I remembered that the staircase at home, is the school bus! Hahaha ! I remember this very well because later on, I started kindergarten! =D

My sisters and I with my dad.

When I was 5 years old, I remember my first best friend and her name is Hing Tze Wei and I still remember that I liked her very much and even till today, I smile when I thought of her because we were really, really close. Then I also remembered Chong Woon Yee who then went to the same primary school as me till we graduated from Convent together in 2007. Also, I remembered playing Polly Pockets, Lego and Barbie Dolls with my sisters and neighbour!

Neo Pei Yee and I!!!

When I was 6 years old, I remember sitting in between Hing Tze Wei and Neo Pei Yee! I even remembered once, the boys who are sitting in front of us threw something at us and Neo got so angry that she said to me:

Faster take your pencil case and throw at them before teacher comes back!

And we both threw our pencil cases at the boys sitting in front of us! Hahaha!! You may wonder why do I remember it so well and it is all because Neo told me:

Remember, we threw our pencil case at them and they got scolding from teacher.

Just one word- Remember and I remember it all. This happens to be the same year where I remembered my kindergarten teacher told me that I will be going to a different school from Hing Tze Wei and honestly, I was quite upset but at the same time, I was still confuse.

Ferlynne, Samantha and Cassandra at Sydney.

When I was 7 years old, I remember playing getah with Amanda, Elaine, Revati, Aina and Dianne! That year as well, I remembered that my parents told me that if I can get top 3 in class, they’ll bring all of us to Australia and I didn’t even know where is Australia back then but the heck of it, if it means flying on an aeroplane, I’ll go for it! 

And that year, I actually got number 3 in class but during English class, when the teacher asked us to check our answer in our exam paper, one of the word, I spelt it wrongly but the teacher marked me right and I owned up and I got number 4 that year. You wanna know what word was that? Hehe… It is chocolate and I spelt it as chocalate because that is how I pronounce it back then .

But still, we went to Australia because that trip was planned months ago and it also means, whether I get top 3 or not, it doesn’t matter because we still get to go Australia, so I guess, what my parents told me was some kind of motivation [Was I so lazy back then?!?! ].

Ferlynne, Cassandra, Samantha.

When I was 8 years old, I remember going to Bukit Jalil for the Commonwealth Games and I pestered my dad to buy me a storybook there and that storybook is title is Mulan. Hehe! And I still remember that it is a picture of Mulan riding her black horse on the front page ! Oh yes, and now I remember that I enjoy listening to Spice Girls and Britney Spears back then but I think I am around 7-9 years old =|… Can’t really remember this =X.

Samantha, Ferlynne, Cassandra.

When I was 9 years old, I remember that I scored my first B in exam and it was for Mathematics somemore and I was upset. Because that year, I aimed to sit for PTS and Convent will select only the good students to sit for PTS. Also, one of the requirement to be able to be selected for PTS is that our Mathematics, Bahasa Malaysia and English must score an A.

I remember that I was quite disappointed because I think I was 1-2 marks away from A. But nevertheless, I was still selected to sit for PTS but I did not pass PTS. Hehe! 

One of my favourite soft toy and I! I couldn’t find any photo of me when I was 10-11 years old  that I scanned in anywhere in my computer so just stare at my cute face here =P.

When I was 10 years old, I remember sitting in Moral classes with Wei Qi and Hui En and we played a lot of games. It was the very same year where I got myself a pair of spectacles and I hated it that I would never wear it in school. I would take my chair and move to the front just to copy notes.

It was the very same year, where Encik Ng was my class teacher and he scolded me day and night for not completing up my Mathematics homework [Hahaha!!! ].

When I was 11 years old, I remember sitting next to Chuah Jia Ni and I dislike this two girls a lot but too bad, I was forced to face them till I was Form 5 and that sucks. It was in this year as well, I first met Ee Jane and Zaharah. And Ee Jane freaked me out and you can read all about it here.

Cassandra, Samantha, Ferlynne. I KNOW I look ugly but this is me back in 2002 T____T…

When I was 12 years old, I remember sitting beside Sze Jun Li in class and I sat for UPSR this year and I scored straight A’s but that certificate means nothing at all now. Looking back, I don’t like my standard 4-6 life.

When I was 13 years old, I remember sitting beside Ee Jane and this is when, Encik Ng was my class teacher again and starting from this year and for the rest of my life, on report card day, I was complained upside down by the teachers with the same repeated comments:

Very talkative, very lazy and very stubborn.

And this three traits, were stuck to me till today +_+… Also, I started playing RO this year and completely neglected my studies and this, is the first turning point of my life, for the worse.

Ee Jane and I in 2004.

When I was 14 years old, I remember only Ee Jane and no one else because in school, I only talk to her =P. At that time, Zaharah don’t really like me and I don’t even remember why now =X…

Samantha, Cassandra, Ferlynne.

When I was 15 years old, I remember sitting for PMR and doing History and Geography PMR projects and it was all last minute work and I wondered how did I scraped through A’s for all seven subjects. And the last thing that I ever remembered was, getting the first place for the slideshow presentation for Science month in school! Hahaha! 

December 2005 will always remind me of one of my best friend, James Lee because this is when, we first became friends and quickly, we became best friends and I remember the way we met and it is simply, one of the best one ever .

In 2005, something happened in the middle of the year but I am not sharing it here but I can just say that it is the second turning point of my life, for the better =)…

Ee Jane, Samantha.

When I was 16 years old, I remember on the first day of class, I was extremely annoyed with Ai Leng because she kept on interrupting me when I am talking to Ee Jane. I still remember vividly how we sat at the badminton court and they called out our names according to our new classes and Ee Jane, Ai Leng, Sin Yee, Zaharah, Ching Yin and I were in the same class together.

The songs that will always remind me of 2006 are songs from Jolin Tsai [Tian Kong] and JJ Lin [Sha Shi Bi Ya De Tian Fen, Chi Pang, Hai Pa and Rang Wo Xin Dong De Ren] =)…

只能用笑容期待著雨過天晴的彩虹

Part of the lyrics from Tian Kong by Jolin Tsai that never fails to cheer me up back in 2006 =)...

And you are gonna hate me as soon as I say this: This is the year, I fell in love with Wang Lee Hom <3… =D… Hehe!

Ching Yin, Jia Yi, Samantha and Wen Yee at Metro Point on the first day it was opened.

When I was 17 years old, I remember that I sat for SPM and it was all last minute studying again and this time, I wasn’t that lucky like how I was for my PMR. I remembered in 2007, Ee Jane and I had the longest cold war ever with each other. Also, I remember attending Ai Leng’s birthday party that year where Ee Jane and I saw another “friend” doing something else behind Ching Yin’s back =|…

The song Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis will always remind me of 2007 because I fell in love with this song when I heard it on the radio =)… But honestly, the year 2007 reminded me the most of Ching Yin along with the song True Colours by Maggie Reilly.

Apart from everything mentioned above, 2007 too reminded me of Girl Guides and how much I hated it when they make us do stupid stuff like horseshoe line up or whatever under the hot sun. Ee Jane, Ching Yin and I will always sign our attendance and we will then run off to hang out around Kajang town and buy a lot of cutesy ribbons and eat asam laksa every Friday at Old Apex all without Wong Ai Leng who has to be in school as the president of Tae Kwan Doe and Zaharah who is too afraid to run away from Girl Guide meetings =P.

Us, in full baju loreng =X…

When I was 18 years old, I remember that I attended National Service and you can read all about it here and here. National Service is an unforgettable memory for me, in a good way of course. It has changed me a lot, for the good and for the bad.

And in National Service as well, I experienced the third turning point of my life, for both the good and the bad and some of the concepts that I’ve learnt in National Service, were some of the concepts that I still hold on tightly till this very millisecond. When I returned from National Service, I can feel that, I am somewhat already a different person that I have to take some time off to know myself again.

In 2008 as well, it is when I first entered Form 6 as a Lower 6 student and it is also when I moved away from all my Convent best friends [None of them went with me to Form 6] and I felt so attached to all of them that I rejected everyone and everything in KHS because I missed all of them so, so much.

Back then, when I saw them with new friends and that they are happy with their new environment, deep down I was quite upset because it seems like I was forgotten but somewhat, I was happy for them because I wanted them to be happy too and I wish them all the best but I still, hold them close to my heart and life because they are all very dear to me in many ways.

The song that will always remind me of 2008 is Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett. Overall, I don’t really like the year 2008.

Wei Qi, Sam, Sin Yee and Caitlynn at the bowling alley.

When I was 19 years old, I remember that I did many things that I have never tried before and my life officially dramatized itself throughout the year. I remember more people in 2009 [Wei Qi, Kean Jie, LeiKen, Prakash, Ee Hahn and Chen Wai], I’ve made more new friends and lost some friends here and there too. I began to enjoy my life more than ever in Form 6 and I learnt how to appreciate what people have done for me and to not be too attached to anyone in Form 6.

Also, in 2009, there is a fourth turning point in my life and it is the biggest turning point in my life for now. So many changes took place and it made me realize that, I am really, really already a different person than who I am back in 2007 and 2008 but, I realize that I am always the same Samantha back in 2007 whenever I am with my best friends =D.

Wei Qi with her face expression of – Haiyo, you don’t siao la!

The year 2009 is the most memorable year for me and it happens to be, the year that I enjoyed myself the most and I love my life back in 2009. In 2009, I was traumatized badly by many incidents but I am glad that I always have Wei Qi by my side to always listen to me and Kean Jie to cheer me up at times by telling me to think more rationally.

There are too many things to write and to remember about in 2009, both the good and the bad. 2009 is the best time of my life in this 20 years but sadly, it has come to an end. I felt like crying even by typing this, because as I thought about when I was 19 years old, it flashes back to where I first ignored Wei Qi because I hated/disliked her so much and then how I began to take liking in her later on because she is such a nice and sincere friend to have! And we did many things together in 2009 and the best one definitely goes to our graduation slideshow! [You can read all about our graduation here and watch the graduation video here, at the end the post]

Ee Hahn [Take that – TWIN PEAKS! Now you know I feel when you suddenly SMS-ed me about TWIN PEAKS!] and I after school while waiting for my bus.

Then, it flashes back to Ee Hahn, where we first talked to each other and how pissed off I was with him because of his extreme stupidity and how I decided to not talk to him anymore. It goes back to when he said stupid stuff about me in school that made me angrier and hurt me a lot in many ways.

But I guess, it is all over now and it is a miracle that we are still friends till today. And I am glad that he is way smarter than he was last time now after being slapped by my words countless time +_+… Or else, I don’t think I even wanna talk to him! Oh and not to forget, we are always chit chatting with each other like nobody’s business an hour before every exam about what are we going to do after exam =X… Aiyo… What are we doing in school la!! 

Prakash and his 1 gazillion dollar smile.

It then goes back to when Prakash and I became closer to each other during the mid year holiday with much thanks to Mathematics T Paper 1 PLC anyway. I have no regrets knowing/befriending this guy although I disliked him initially but he is an amazing person to be friends with. But some things, happened for the best so yea, I’ll accept that.

The two songs, I’m Yours and Lucky by Jason Mraz has always reminded me of this friend and that songs, are still stuck inside my mp3 player. But I guess, what I miss now is not that same person anymore, but the good times and memories that I have.

Kean Jie – Ponteng kelas sama-sama pergi Ayza makan =P.

When it comes to Kean Jie, all I can remember is I felt extremely happy and joyful when I see him smiling . I don’t know why, but it makes me smile to see him being happy. Although he may seems ignorant at times but to me, deep down he is like my guardian angel who will always slap me till I wake up if I am dreaming for a long time about things that I shouldn’t even be thinking/bothering or be sad about.

One of the advices that he gave me this year is this and I still keep it in my inbox till today:

There’s a point in your life where you get tired of chasing everyone and fixing everything. It is not giving up.. It is realizing that you don’t need certain people in your life, the drama and bullshit they bring.

Very well said and meaningful in many ways . A song that will always remind me of the year 2009 is Happy by Leona Lewis, Terlanjur Cinta by Rossa and most importantly, all the graduation songs in the graduation video, especially Whenever You Remember by Carrie Underwood =)…

Chen Wai, I knew him in 2009 on a trip to Sunway Pyramid with the Bowling Club and you can read all about it here. Whenever it rains, the song Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by B. J. Thomas will start playing in my head and somewhat, I am always reminded of him and I will smile to myself unconsciously .

In 2009, I remember passing by his class, smiling at him and laughing away with Wei Qi and/or Sin Yee after that on the way to the girls’ toilet and I also remember that I skipped Pengajian Am classes and he skipped his P.E. lessons and we both sat in class together, trying to talk or do something beneficial, but we ended up just sitting there, keeping quiet all the time.

But for everything that had happened, I have chosen to give thanks and I thank you for everything. Some things can never be the same again and I must not hold on to it anymore no matter how much I wanted to hold on to this friendship that once matters a lot to me.

Samantha, Vicky, Cassandra, Olivia.

Now, I am 20 years old and I have yet to say – When I was 20 years old, I remember… Because I am still 20 years old. But nevertheless, I still miss 2009; the year that was full with drama and unexpected twist and turn at every corner that I take.

Although 2010 was a peaceful and calm year with some surprises here and there, but I cannot help it but to miss the memories and people that I’ve met in 2009. I guess, I am somewhat attached to the memories that I still, smile, laugh and feel some tears stinging my eyes as I remembered some of the good times in 2009.

~*~

I still have that same huge eyes, round face, cute nose and sexy lips =P.

I grew up listening to Spice Girls and Britney Spears and I grew up playing Barbie Dolls, Polly Pockets, Lego and many other games but I grew out of it all and this is all part of me growing up and leaving the past behind. But I thank God that when I look back, I had a good time, especially in 2009. Thank you God, for everything and everyone in 2009, the amazing yet dramatic year of all =).

May 2011 be a better year for all of us and that, we will make our life as meaningful as possible in 2011. I wish all of you the best in 2011 and please, the year will be 2011 and don’t write 2010 anymore like what I always did =P. Hehe! Have a blessed and Happy New Year in a few more hours [Today is going to be known as last year really, really soon!] !