Category Archives: Rants

Protected: Instinct, Senses and Decision

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Protected: Before I Forget…

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Protected: The Long Road to Love II

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The Year 2013

Hi everyone. This is the annual post that I normally write and usually, they are up pretty early. This time around, I took a very long time to publish this post because I don’t really know what to write about. When I think about 2013, I only see broken friendships. I look through the folder of photos so many times and I really do feel disgusted with certain friends attitude. Maybe we share different friendship ethics. I tried to understand you but I don’t think you even try to understand me.

Anyway, let’s begin.

~*~

Sam, Nano and Ai Leng.

Ee Jane returned to India before Chinese New Year last year so I didn’t go for any house visiting. That made me realized that I would go for it because I wanted to accompany her and I don’t get to see her often. In all honesty, I feel this house visiting is losing its meaning. If you want to meet up with your friends, meet up at a cafe. If you want angpao, then just say so and not use house visiting as an excuse. Oh well, maybe it’s just me.

Last Chinese New Year, I was really angry with two friends. If you are not coming over for dinner/don’t intend for dinner, THEN SAY SO. IT IS ABSOLUTELY OKAY TO SAY NO and please do not make me wait all day like an idiot. It really piss me off when people don’t say things directly and make me wait for nothing. Also, I cannot stand people who promised to keep me updated and in the end, wala, nothing at all until I called up. So if I don’t call you, then die la, I have to wait until I turn into dust.

Convent girls.

This bunch of girls will always remind me that it is never easy to find true friends. In 2013, by miracle I discovered cusp in terms of horoscope. It is a no wonder characteristics of Pisces doesn’t reflects me at all even by 10%.

Mel, Sam, Vivian.

I am really grateful to have people whom I can label them as my friend(s) in university but when there is a change of heart in your friends, you have to accept it. It is sad to know that you aren’t important at all when you make effort to meet up and to celebrate their birthdays. It is saddening how they can’t show the slightest appreciation and now, they don’t even have basic courtesy to say thank you after you have helped them. Wow, seriously?¬†Friendship – what does this word means to you? Well, probably a joke or some sort of rubbish.

When you walk away from these ‘friends’, what do you do when you see their name on the caller ID? I let it ring till it dies off.

Voted for the very first time and yes, I am proud to be a true Malaysian ūüėČ .

On the brighter side of 2013, I found closure in so many ways and I thank God for it. Thinking about it right now still made me smile and I laugh when I look back at our old photographs in 2008. It can never ever be the same anymore and it scares me when I think about the person whom I used to know so well turned into a stranger. Back then, it feels exactly like this:

We used to be best buddies and now we’re not, I wish you would tell me why.

~Do You Want To Build A Snowman from Frozen~

Too much disappointments and now, I don’t even want to know why anymore.¬†I guess we were meant to be strangers from the very beginning. Best friends? Really? I guess I was dispensable and disposable to you.

And I finally went for internship after seeing the entire world posting about internship on Facebook [You can read all about my internship experience here]. It was overall a very good experience and it has taught me many valuable lessons in life which I have penned down in my internship report. It is useful to remember/read it from time to time whenever people are being stupid and try to affect me with it.

Melissa and I. 

In 2013, my life as an undergraduate officially ended [You can read all about my final semester here]. All in all, it has been a good experience and it is amazing how people whom you know do not like you showed their true colours in the final semester. On the other hand, I thank God for this friend, Melissa Khoo who has walked with me hand in hand to the ending point of our undergrad life gracefully. Sometimes, or most of the time, it feels exactly like this:

We only have each other, it’s just you and me, what are we gonna do?¬†

~Do You Want To Build A Snowman from Frozen~

What are we gonna do? Let’s just mind our own business and be awesome as usual for now.

From my Instagram- Imperfection is what makes you different from the others.

Many years ago, you would never ever see a picture of my teeth or hands close up. But now you have seen both of it in this blog post. I am not blessed with straight teeth and people would take notice, make comments and even laugh at it. It piss me off all the time and I vow to wear braces so that people will not say anything about it anymore. Last year, I don’t know what happened but all of a sudden, I felt that my teeth actually suits my face feature and it makes me feels like me.

Apart from that, I do not have nice nails or hands but I have decided to embrace all of my imperfections and not strive towards perfection anymore. Perfection only happens when you embrace imperfections. Suddenly I sound so wise.

All in all, the year 2013 isn’t a year which I would revisit for now. It made me see through so many people and to all my best friends – this is a year without a love story (Aren’t you guys proud of me?!). A stone heart can never love anymore and I think, I have been a really unforgiving person in 2013. It feels so hard to tolerate, give and care that sometimes, I feel like a reptile living in a human body. But at the same time, if you are too nice, people would trample all over you. I guess, there is a need to seek balance in everything that we do.

Why Do You Meet Idiots

In every chapters of your life, you are bound to meet an idiot or two and maybe even more than that. To me, these people never fail to light up your world in so many ways because it simply shows how you are never an idiot when you are compared to them in juxtaposition thus – we thank God in all ways. I have written two blog posts [Click here and here] for two idiots that I have met in the same chapter of my life and one of them managed to redeem himself though.

This post is directed to a person whom I do not want as a friend anymore for now. Your friendship ethics, ignorance, insincerity, attitude and manners disgusted me in every way. To me, I have a lot to say about X and W – that is probably because at that time, those two idiots and I are almost strangers again. But to you, I have always been glad that I have met you as a friend and junior thus, I have nothing much to say – because I am utterly disappointed with you.

As for you – what goes around comes around. When things screwed up for you, you called me and I comforted you, telling you that it’s all gonna be okay. When you needed help, I helped you and even gave you my best help. When you told about your boyfriend stories and how I do think that many times you are an idiot at that time, I still listen to you although I am yawning at the other side of the screen.¬†Where did I went wrong, I honestly do not know but to agree that I am the idiot for being so nice to you from the very first time we knew each other.

Once bitten, twice shy. You are never to regain my trust and friendship ever again for now. To me, I always believe that you will reap what you sow.