Category Archives: Life In University

November 2012

June 2018

I think I really enjoyed reading my drafts which I never published back then. The good part is I can’t even remember why I did not publish it back then. But well, I guess, I will do so now because it seems interesting to me. Initially I couldn’t remember who it was and what colour the shirt was. However, after a while, I remembered. I remembered it all and I could even replay the entire scene in my head again.

It wasn’t pleasant but today I am glad that I made the right decision to not walk into the library. The worst part? I mentioned that there were two songs but I could only remember one of it! I am going to write it down before I really forget about it. One of the songs is Way Back Into Love. It was from the movie Music and Lyrics. Wa not bad, I still remember 😛 . We were listening to this particular song almost every day together and we stupidly said it was our friendship song.

Since I remember so many things now, I might as well just write it down in case I don’t remember it anymore! I still remember when we talked about movie, we talked about Music and Lyrics. I think I said it wasn’t a very nice show and somehow you agreed too. As the chat went on longer, we realized that we have so much in common especially when we said that the song was the best part of the movie. I remember telling myself in my head as we were talking that for the rest of my life, I would love to just see you smile and look at me that way. I must be so stupidly in love with you back then.


November 2012

I think I saw you walking into the library. I recognize the shirt that you are wearing. I stopped right there and I saw you looking over for a moment. You walked into the library while I make my way to the library doorstep but I stopped myself from entering. I pushed myself forward and I walked away. Although I wanted to confirm if it is you that I saw but deep down, I would prefer to not know because it doesn’t makes a difference to me anymore. I guess I’ll just get the reference book another time.

As I walked away, I was reminded of two songs that I have heard over the radio. And because the lyrics reminded me so much of you, whenever I hear the songs I would be reminded of you and the bright smile that you have. But at the same time, I would be reminded of what a selfish person you can be. I guess this is why we can’t never be together.



University of Malaya Convocation 2014

After a long journey, I have finally graduated from the University of Malaya. In all honesty, I have never seen myself going to university because I thought I would always chase my dreams in the sky. I guess sometimes dreams will always remain as a dream unless your choose to pursue it with passion.

My mother! 🙂 

I am where I am today because of my mother. She pushed me to do things which I never thought I could do. She encouraged me by teaching me patience [And made me print the Chinese character [Patience] to be kept in my file] towards all the people in school who thought that I would never make it to the ending line. My mother also taught me that the more people discourage you in life, all the more you gotta prove them wrong 😉 . So mum, this is for you because you deserve it more than I do.

I really, really never thought that I would have the chance to wear a mortarboard and graduation robe!

On my graduation day, I was reminded of my first day in the Faculty of Languages and Linguistics where the dean, Professor Dr. Zuraidah was giving a speech. The most inspiring line she said was:

Make yourself worthy of the seat you are sitting on right now.

Whenever I am at the verge of giving up in university, I will always remember this inspiring line and remind myself to never ever give up! To me, I have always been grateful that I am given a second chance in education and it is my honour to be part of the faculty for the past 3.5 years. Most of all, I am also grateful to my scholarship sponsor, Tinggi Foundation for being my financial aid =). This scholarship means the world to my family and I.

Behind the scene at Experimental Theater.

This scene is a preface which tells you who your friends are at the end of the journey and who really cares about you.


Sorry for being repetitive but I really cannot believe that I am sitting in the hall waiting for my convocation ceremony. For years I have seen friends on Facebook posted about their convocation and when it is my turn now, I find it hard to believe. It’s like a dream too good to come true.

This is my best friend (for now) and I. 

People told me that I would never find true friends in university but for now, I am thankful to have found Melissa. Although we both disliked each other in the first semester, I am glad that we ended this journey together with love. She is the one friend in class who stick with me through thick and thin when everyone else would abandon us. We were basically disliked by our own ‘course mates’ for absurd reasons [For example: Our work made them look bad]. We go through our semester-ly ritual of asking ourselves:

What did we get ourselves into?

She is my source of motivation in university whenever I feel like giving up and she would never leave me behind whenever I am lost.  Whenever we fall into a pool of cow dung, we would pull each other out and charge ahead to all challenges lie ahead of us. I could never imagine my life in university without her. Thank you for being such a good friend and I really appreciate your presence in my life.

P/S: Because I am so lazy, every sentence in this paragraph dedicated to Melissa will be added with *for now* at the end of every sentence. No questions because I malas nak explain. Hehe.

Pico, Mega and Nano.

Thank you Pico and Nano for coming to my convocation! I never thought that I would have friends attending my convocation!!! Ee Jane, I acknowledge your presence during my convocation so don’t worry hehe! ❤

Thank you for coming all the way from Kajang and bracing all the congestion inside UM! These two have been my listeners since 2008 and I am sorry if your ears bleed hahahaha!! Thank you Nano for always being there whenever I needed someone to talk to. Thank you Pico for always listening to me even though my stories are long winded.

Thank you Ee Jane and Kean Jie for knocking sense into me every single time I need it. Thank you for being my motivators! =) Cheesy but… friendship forever! ❤

Billy and I.

Billy is part of my Bimbo Gang [In case you have forgotten, here’s the link to it] and my only regret in our friendship is that we did not have a chance to know each other better as friends. I first met Billy during a PKV play, next round in AIESEC and then he came along as Mel’s model. All the best in your future endeavours and may our paths cross again!

Charmaine and I.

I may not know Charmaine well so yea, I regretted not taking some time to know her. Well, who knows if in the near future we will have the chance to be best friends?! =) *Positive vibe hehe*

Melissa, Christine, Sam.

Thank you Christine for coming to see us! =) Enjoy your remaining time in university and make the best out of it!

Sam, Carmen, Melissa.

Thank you Carmen for being my pillar of support in my sophomore year and thank you for showing me that one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch ;). Stay beautiful and I hope that you would be happy wherever you are ❤ . Carmen is one of the toughest girls that I have known in my life and I am sure that one day, she would soar up high in the sky =) .

Sam, Daphne, Mel.

Thank you for coming Daphne! Daphne is my Babi Master and we only found each other in the final week of our elective class. Haih, such is fate but we shall never allow distance to separate our friendship! 😉

Sam, Mei Kuan, Mel.

Mei Kuan is my course junior and is currently in her final year. Enjoy your final year and I believe that you can do well! =) The final line is not far from you and next year, it will be your turn to graduate! 😉 All the best to you! You can do it =) !

7th Chinese Community group photograph! 

Wa… Wa… Wa… WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Every time I look at this photo, I get mixed feelings of wanting to cry and laugh at the same time. Truth to be told, I don’t deserve to be in this picture because I did nothing for CC but to criticize their doings in my freshman year on my blog [Link to the post will not be given but you can search for it]. I hated CC in my freshman year but I learnt how to love it [A little] in my sophomore year. I never understood the feeling of having juniors [That I know of] to attend seniors’ convocation but last week, I do. The fact that these juniors are there to see the seniors and congratulate their seniors touched my heart.

I am so sorry because you guys have to perform and sing for this cold-hearted senior here but I DO appreciate it. I think I finally understood CC at the end of my undergrad journey although I may not agree 100% with their actions [I guess nobody would 100% agree with all my actions anyway]. This is unbelievable but here it is:

I am truly honoured to be part of 7th CC family despite all the negative things I have said/wrote about them. 

Juniors performing 7th CC theme song.

Paiseh but I really forgot how to sing the song as well as the actions which comes along with the song =P. When the current CC Head said:

Dear seniors, we are going to sing a song for you.

I said to her – wa so kesian ah. WTF sorry for being so qian da but I DO pity the freshmen who didn’t know the seniors at all but still gotta sing for us. I admire their spirit and this is what I never had throughout my university life because I have been too busy going home, working and finishing up my assignments on time. I do admit that when they sang the 7th CC theme song, it was like a big slap on my face because I remembered how much I disliked the seniors [Those who were at least one batch older than me] but not the real CC. Not sure if you know what I am talking about now wtf.

All in all, thank you juniors for the performance and I hope all of you would have a much better experience with CC than I do. All the best in your university years and here’s two important advice from your super senior:

Be careful of who you help. 

There. You have been warned.

Me in Faculty of Science golden scarf graduation robe! 

This photograph is dedicated to my father who also graduated from UM 30++ years ago [Yes, when my father graduated, he wore the exact same graduation robe and scarf colour as the one in 2014 =) ]. Even though we graduated from different faculties but at least we graduated from the same university! =) I know you are very excited when you first brought me in UM for my course interview and I know that now you must be very proud to see your own daughter walking on the Dewan Tunku Canselor stage to receive her scroll. I hope I have made you proud, Pa! ❤ !

Thank you for always fixing my printer and refilling the ink for me because I do not want to learn how to do it [Later you will be too free la so I cannot learn hehe]. Thank you for settling all the PTPTN documents on my behalf and sending it to university before I received scholarship. Thank you for always being on the lookout for me all the time ❤ .

Nano and Pico gave me presents for my graduation! I am so, so, so, so, so touched!!!!! I never expected anything from them at all! =) Thank you so, so much!!! I appreciate it very, very much! ❤ ❤

Thank you for coming to my convocation because your presence means the world to me ❤ . Special thanks to my two sisters, Ferlynne and Cassandra for being such supportive siblings. I know you guys are here with me in spirit ❤ !


To my lecturers who have taught me in this 3.5 years, thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge with me. My special dedication to:

a) Dr. Fauziah for being my only academic advisor, supporter and guardian in the faculty ❤ . Dr. Fauziah is humorous and I enjoyed her lectures very much ❤

b) Associate Professor Dr. Jariah for being my academic project supervisor. Thank you for your full support and knowledge given ❤ . Dr. Jariah taught me Language and Gender and it has been an eye-opening class. If you have a chance, do sit in and enjoy 😉 .

c) Dr. Teoh Mei Lin for being caring and supportive all the time ❤ . Well, I guess at the moment we will still be seeing each other around hehe =P …

d) Associate Professor Dr. Kuang Ching Hei for giving me this piece of wise advice: If it hurts you, walk away from it. I will always remember this for the rest of my life.

e) Dr. Sridevi for being one of the most understanding lecturers that I have ever known. Dr. Sri is a very dedicated lecturer in the field of linguistics and I am honoured to be part of her class.


Thank you Godma for all your love, prayers, advice, moral support, food and fun provided! =) ❤

Thank you Mun Yoke and Vivian for being such awesome roommates! =) I still can’t believe how compatible three of us were as roommates back in our first year! 🙂 I will always treasure and remember all the good times we shared! ❤ ❤


To Elina – thank you very much because without your post contribution on forum, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you for sharing and I really do miss hanging out with you ❤ . P/S: Thanks for the gossips, tips and exam papers hehe.

Thank you Jeremy and Angela for being such great course seniors. Thank you for all the advice and help given to me =).


Last but not least… Thank you Lord Jesus, Mother Mary, Joseph, all the angels and saints for helping and guiding me throughout this 3.5 years. It has been a long and tough journey but thanking you for bringing me through it. Thank you for all the wonderful experience and people in my life. Thank you for teaching me to not question WHY but to say – it’s okay, everything will be okay in God’s hand =).

Tips On Surviving 1 Week Of Hell/Torture [Minggu Haluansiswa]

This post was written by me on 29th December 2010 when I was still a freshman. I did not publish it back then because it might cause me a great deal of trouble with no hostel to stay. Now that I have graduated, I say – who cares anymore for now =P .

P/S: Pictures all from Google Images unless you see my face in it…. =P


I am going to be nice today so as to share some survival tips for Minggu Haluansiswa or well known as orientation in University of Malaya. Any incoming juniors next year, do take note of this especially if you are coming into 7th College/Kolej Kediaman Ketujuh/KK7/Kolej Kediaman Za’ba of University of Malaya. You have been well informed in this post [Click here] that MHS is a hell of a time in UM.

So yea, I am going to tell you about the important stuff that you need to bring and what do you need to do so that you can be more well prepared. Am I being nice?! Yes I am! So let me know if you are going to be my course junior or anything else, I’ll be all happy to help you out after going through a big hoo-haa around in one year while watching all the dramas going on.

Right, here we go; survival tips for MHS and these facts, are based on my own experience and it may differ for different colleges:

a) Do not straighten or colour or perm your hair a week before or a day before MHS unless you want to cry your eyes out during MHS. During MHS, we are forced to tie and pin up our hair. So if you don’t mind your newly straighten hair being bent later, then sure, go ahead and straighten it.

Also, it is very unlikely that you can wash your hair during MHS unless your hair is super short or else you risk tying your hair while its wet or sleep with your wet hair. It is your choice anyway. 

b) Do not try to be funky during MHS like wearing huge earrings while playing basketball or wearing extremely huge hair accessories. You are not allowed on any kind of jewelry except any religious jewelry and watches. Other than that, keep it at home if you stay nearby or chuck it inside your locker if you stay far away. Whatever it is, do not wear them during MHS because you will be ask to remove them.

c) Do not be rude to your roommates because you are going to stay with them for a year unless you want to move out immediately after MHS.

d) Let the Pembantu Mahasiswa know as soon as possible during MHS that you do not wish to stay on college so that they do not charge you for the whole year. This news, is not confirmed [I heard rumours here and there by the way @_@], but from what I’ve heard, if you seriously do not want to stay in college after MHS because your house is a 5 minutes away from UM, then let the Pembantu Mahasiswa know about it so that they can figure out a way for you.

Just refer to the Pembantu Mahasiswa if you have any doubts and fear them not, they are supposed to be fearful of you because your health and safety is their responsibility. So torture them as much as you want so that you will feel better when they torture you by taking away an hour of your sleep at night.

e) You cannot pick your roommates in 7th College so forget about telling your friend(s) who got 7th College that you can be roommates. One room will be shared with 3 person [Usually same race will be in the same room], there will be a single bed and a double decker bed. If you want the single bed, then come early and stop whining if you don’t get the single bed because IT DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL/IT IS VERY UNIMPORTANT!

But my suggestion is this, if your roommate is staying far away and you are staying nearby [And is very likely to go home every week], then please, be courteous and give in the single bed to that roommate because it is very likely he/she will have many stuff with her and usually, single bed always have the biggest area.

Also, you will be given the hostel which is nearest to your faculty. But if you are unlucky, you might get one that is far from your hostel too. So it all depends on your luck but if you are not a medical field student, rule 6th College the 5 star hostel in UM out of your dreams and be prepared for a sucky hostel and room.

You have been warned and keep your expectations as low as possible, especially about the study table where it is all joined up you have to divide that tiny table into 3 tinier portion. So yea… Now you know =P…

f) Bring a small bottle of portable dish wash liquid so that you can wash your own food container without fighting with the others.

g) For the Chinese, bring your own fork and spoon. It is not provided. So please remember this one unless you are like me, who don’t mind eating with hands because I am lazy to wash my fork and spoon.

Please remove all of this before MHS +_+… You WILL NOT have the time to take care of your nails.

h) Remove all your nail polish and forget about manicure and pedicure and whatever cure for your nails. Just, keep your nails empty during MHS and you can be as funky as you like after MHS.

This type of shoe is gonna make your feet hurt like hell when you run and do exercises and chances are, the Pembantu Mahasiswa are going to make you change your shoes. Yea, you can that you don’t have any other pair but I don’t know the consequences la.

i) Bring your shoes and when I say shoes, I mean shoes that you can run in it and don’t get blisters in it. I am serious with you. There are girls who wear ballet flat shoes that looks like sport shoes style [Girls, you know what I am talking about] and mind you, you are going to RUN in those shoes so yea, no one is gonna sympathize if you get blisters or your toes/feet hurt or your shoes are new. No one gives a damn so please be practical.

Yi Han is wearing the round neck MHS shirt and for half formal attire top, you can wear one like mine [The top =) ] in this photo.

j) You will be required to wear half formal attires during certain events and you are not allowed to wear skirts at all and not even formal skirts so please chuck them all inside your cupboard at home if you staying nearby or in your locker or bag.

For half formal attires, I suggest that you bring 2-3 black slacks and some collar Polo like T-shirt. The shirt doesn’t have to be of formal shirt material [You don’t want to run/sweat for 30 minutes in that formal shirt] but it can be a T-shirt material so long as it has a collar. The keyword for dressing up during MHS is comfort and always be practical. Be unpractical all you want after MHS but don’t torture yourself during MHS.

k) Bring cologne, perfume and anything to make yourself/your orientation shirt smell nice so that you don’t choke yourself.

l) There will be a session where they will make you get signatures from the Pembantu Mahasiswa. Ah, I say forget about doing this. I got about 9 signatures out of 30 I think and I couldn’t be bothered anymore and I regretted [One of my biggest regrets ever] getting even the 9 signatures. If you are so afraid, then go get 1-2 signatures and then forget about it because in the end, everyone gets punished and the punishment are usually half squat with you holding your name tag high up like some prisoner/slave/idiot for an hour or so [This normally takes place during midnight. Now you know]. 

m) In 7th college, electrical items that are allowed are ONLY handphone and laptop charger and they are charged as follow; RM10 for handphone charger and RM20 for laptop charger. You will be given this card that says that you have registered for whatever charger and it will be charged into your account later on.

If you cheat and tell them that you do not have a laptop when you actually have one in your room, then it is at your own risk if they have spot checks at the most un-God-ly hour like 2-3am in the morning when the semester starts and your laptop is being confiscated. Other electrical items like bread toaster, rice cooker, hair dryer, hair curler and whatever that you intend to bring are NOT allowed and they can be confiscated but if you are sure that you can hide them in your room, then bring them at your own risk.

I did not say that you will not be caught or you will be caught but the chances are there. It is all at your OWN RISK and I shall bear no responsibility for it. I brought my hair dryer by the way if that makes you feel better =P. 

n) They will try to scare you a lot during MHS with a lot of rules BUT I am here to tell you, fear not! If you don’t believe me, just wait and see. You will see all sort of nonsense around @_@… 

o) Forget about bringing your jeans during MHS as it is not allowed but you can wear jeans to your classes after MHS so don’t worry too much about clothing issues as long as it is decent.

p) Bring your own permanent marker, pen, scissors and glue during MHS because you are going to label a lot of your stuff and stick a lot of your own passport size photographs and fill in a lot of forms so stop being another irritating bugger who borrow other people’s stuff all the time. Just get a small size glue stick and that will last you for the rest of your university life.

q) Please remember to bring your own passport size photograph and the background is BLUE in colour and not white, grey or anything else. If you forget to bring or the passport size photograph background is of a funkier colour other than blue, then, good luck to you, the Pembantu Mahasiswa are going to snap a photograph of you ala passport size during MHS [You will be called out] and you can have that photo of your pale, tired, sleepy face/eyes plastered on your matric/student card.

YES!! The passport size photographs that you give is the one that will be on your matric card so please be practical and take a nice photo of yourself [Like mine! Hahaha!!! xD] and don’t try to have it in a different background colour other than blue! The key phrase here is, don’t act smart lo.

r) Bring another food container. So that you can transfer all the food that they gave you into that food container and take a quick bath. But whatever it is, plan your own timetable well as long as you are comfortable with it.

s) For the girls, bring extra underclothes just in case you don’t have time to wash or use pantyliners if you must. For the guys, I don’t know ’cause I’m not a guy =P.

t) Forget about using UM wi-fi on your handphone without a username and password which will be your Perdana/Siswa Mail ID later on [P/S: I heard from someone that the ID: test and password: test works =X… ]. And yes, please pick your E-mail address name appropriately because that is what you are going to use for the rest of your studying period in UM.

So if you put cutiepie1110, it will appear as when you send an E-mail to your lecturers and you will be using the ID cutiepie1110 and the same password to login to the student portal to check your account balance status and everything else including the access of UM wi-fi.

u) If you are sick or not feeling well or having any illness like heart attack, asthma, high blood pressure whatever, let the Pembantu Mahasiswa know and DO NOT hide any illness because if they make you run later and you faint or worst, die, then well, I will say no point risking your life like that although the Pembantu Mahasiswa are scary most of the time [Looks scary but behind the scene, some of them are nothing more than a coward =) ].

v) Please bring your own toilet slippers. You are going to bathe with your slippers on and don’t whine about no hot water. THERE IS NO HOT WATER for you to bathe so live with that. And oh, no air-cond in your rooms too and keep your windows close at all time unless you want the monkeys to enter and poo and pee around, then go ahead and leave it open wide.

Also, bring your own toiletries like toothbrush, toilet papers and stuff like that. Haiyo, common sense lo this one but wait and watch, there are bound to be some idiots who do not bring all this stuff. Most importantly, get a nice small basket where you can throw all your toiletries in when you take a bath and make sure it has a holder where you can hang it on the tap when you are bathing. And no, you won’t have your own personal toilet. It’s a dorm style toilet with individual cubicles so live and deal with it.

w) Keep your doors closed and lock at all times even if you are going to the toilet just for a second.

All in all, I know some of them are more like survival tips in UM, but at least, expect for the worst during MHS and enjoy your time in UM after that! Study hard and play hard at the same time and ignore all dumb activities if you think it is not worth your time. People are gonna boycott and hate you for not joining any activities but here’s the another catch, people will boycott and hate you one way or another without you doing anything as well. Sometimes even if you join one billion activities, you are gonna be boycotted and hated too.

You don’t have to bother what people have to say about you because no matter how good you may be, people still gossip about you. So yea, live with that and enjoy your life in UM! =D

The Saddest Moment of My Freshman Year

This post was first written on 1st September 2011 and the final draft was completed by 8th September 2011. It was not published back then due to various reasons which I cannot remember right now. Reading back this post made me laugh and I am really, really glad that I penned it down! It is such a good memory and it reminded me of how much I have learnt and grew throughout the years! 🙂 Do enjoy this post as much as I do 😉 🙂 ❤


P/S: All images are from Photobucket : ) 

I don’t really want to write about this because it is a really, really heartrending story but when I thought about it over and I think, this is a pretty interesting story in a way so yea, I am gonna share it here.

At the point of time where this incident takes place, I was searching for the end of a rainbow that I saw two years ago. The person involved in this story, we shall call him Roy; which isn’t his real name of course. Roy and I were best of friends that have been destined to never be together. He left to chase his childhood dreams and ambition and I waited because he said that we will meet again one day because we are fated to be together. Yes, I waited and this is one of the dumbest decisions that I have ever made.

What hurts the most was being so close. And having so much to say and watching you walk away – What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts 

One year later, Roy was accepted into University of Malaya – the university that both of us promised to meet each other again. In that one year of separation, I saw his photographs with another girl on Friendster and Facebook but I did not question or say anything because he completely ignored me that one whole year. Some time later, he contacted me again and when I asked him about the other girl whom I saw on his social networking pages, he ignored my question and until today I never knew the answer but it doesn’t matter anymore.

我可以划一个圈把自己关在里面 [Translation: I can draw a circle and shut myself in it]

把回忆挡在外面 [Translation: And leave the memories outside]

却不能停止想念在我的天空蔓延 [Translation: But I can’t help but to miss our skies]

他有的善良和善变 [Translation (Play of word in Chinese): His goodness and fickleness]

我可以划一个圈当做是完美句点 [Translation: I can draw a circle and assume it as the perfect full stop]

-可以不可以 by 丁当-

By then, I as already filled with doubts and he told me to give both of us another chance to prove that we are meant to be together. He told me that he will wait for my acceptance into the University of Malaya and he has strong confidence that we will see each other in university and by then, we will talk things out and everything else will be okay. So yes, I naively told him that I will take the chance because in a way, I wanted to arrive at the end of the rainbow with him.

I close my eyes. And try to hide. But I wake when this dreams collide – Dreams Collide by Colbie Caillat

Seven months later, I was accepted into University of Malaya and when I met him again, he told me very rudely in public that he already has someone else with him. I was speechless and dumbfounded. But nevertheless, I did not cry [Which I feel extremely proud of myself] and I tried my best to not hold on. It was easy in a way for me because there is no firm attachment in the very first place although sometimes it hurts when the memories come back because of two songs and I am glad that today I can listen to these songs without feeling acrimonious anymore.

I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end – Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant & Drew Barrymore

But several months later, I saw Roy in Dewan Tunku Canselor [DTC] lobby after two performances and I saw his girlfriend walking towards him. I saw the smile on his face when the girl held his arm and I walked away. At that time, at the back of my mind, I realized that all I have is myself and I was left to watch them together but nevertheless, I wished him all the best because I knew that I shouldn’t ill-wish my best friend or anyone else. As I turned and walked away, I felt the same heart sinking feeling when we said goodbye three years ago but I braved myself to not look back and I told myself that I must always look forward to what lies ahead and I smiled because I know that – I can do it no matter what it takes.

这次我走开再没有话要说出来 [Translation: I walked away this time around without saying anything at all]

我不想再期待走下去还能多精彩 [Translation:  I don’t wish to go on anymore to know how more exciting it can be]

我不了解你怎能心安 [Translation: I don’t understand how you can be peace at heart]

-你为什么说谎 by 丁噹-

A few days later, I happen to be at the place where everything started and all the memories came flooding back. It made me realized that what has been said and has been done cannot be taken back or undone ever again although in a way I felt like a failure for not letting it go yet. This is when I realize that I must really, really let go and move on for real. Upon arriving home, after a good sleep – I told myself that I will and must still move on with my life even though in a way I felt like I was being cheated and lied to.

In the end, I realized that I had arrived at the end of the rainbow alone a long time but I was too busy holding on to the past to realize it. I have learnt a lot of lessons from the saddest moment of my freshman year and my lips carved a smile because it has all happened for the best.

When we were 18, we were both in love naively and we were best of friends once upon a time. When we were 18, we talk about how cool it is to be in the same university and we will go out sometimes for lunch, dinner and movies just like how we have always dream about. 

Now we are both 21, we have both moved on and we no longer speak to each other. We are both in the same university but there isn’t any lunch, dinner or movies together because that dream will always remain as our dream once upon a time.

Now that I have moved on, I can safely conclude that this is simply one of the happy ending stories in my life that I can now smile from my heart. 


I know Roy is still reading my blog and I just wanted to say thank you, Roy for everything : ). I used to wonder what went wrong between us and now I know; nothing went wrong between us but we are destined to meet someone else who can love us more than what we both can give to each other.

It has been a year plus and I have totally forgotten about it until I have to write this post but the greatest lesson that I have learnt from the saddest moment [Saddest moment doesn’t means that you have to shed tears!] of my freshman year is that:

The best pay back to people who had hurt you in any way is by living well, better and happier – all without them in it. 

Semester 1, Year 4

This is it, this is the final semester of my undergraduate year. Now I am officially unemployed and to be honest, I am really happy when the semester ended. I know what you want to ask next. What about study week and exam week? Nah! Who cares about study week and exam week now? Because for now, I have none =P. So yea, bye bye undergraduate life! =P

Anyway, this is the very first time throughout my university life for being an off campus student because… I only have one class per week. Ahh, don’t you people feel jealous about it ’cause I have worked a long and hard way to have this dream timetable. Yea, so if you want something, please work for it and not blame others for being lucky.


When I don’t need the cafeteria service daily in university, this is when nice food with good price tag appears. Not to mention, they even renovated the whole place and it actually looks classy. Why?! Why does this happen to me? Anyway, I have better food everyday when I go home so… never mind this.

This semester, all I did was attending class for play practices and staying at home to complete my academic project. Basically, it has been a relaxing semester. Look, I don’t even know what else to say about my final semester. People tell me to make it memorable but there are so many things in university that made me feel happy to leave them behind. Why? Because for now it involves many people who are redundant and unimportant.

We celebrated Melissa’s post-23rd birthday with good food and dessert at Bangsar. This is one of the two gatherings I had in my final semester. Yea, I know right what a thing to happen.

Melissa visited my hometown and stayed over for a night! 🙂 Also, we went to the usual place I would go for drinks with my friends for some good and reasonably priced food on top of a hill 😉 .

We celebrated Vivian and Carmen’s birthday together 🙂 . It was a gathering which made me realize how friendship really can distance when you don’t stay in the same hostel/room anymore. Perchance, the distance was already there since the beginning but I was too ignorant to realize it. Anyway, it does not affect me in any way at all for now.

Again, my whole semester is full of play rehearsals, academic project proposal, draft and the list repeats.

My life as an undergraduate officially ends for now the moment I ended my play and submitted my academic project. How does it feels like? In one word to sum it all – awesome. Another word for it? Wonderful? You need another word for it? Here you go – lovely =P.

A good lunch and one final outing marks the end of week 14 🙂 .

My woman and I – together we create history and legacy for now. 

This semester is an eye opening semester. It made me see through some friends in class who has been leeching off us. It is only expected when they walk away and expect to be friends again. The silent war in class is more apparent than ever. Silent bitching, backstabbing, front stabbing, throwing each other to the flaming ship and insincerity has made me realized what I have been told before I entered university. I was not surprised at all when all of this happened because I have been warned from the beginning.

When things slowly fall, break and burn into nothing, all I could do is laugh. They could have one million six hundred and forty eight thousand friends where they hate one another but no one says a thing and pretend to like one another. But, here I have only one friend and her name is Melissa. To me, that’s good enough. Quality over quantity and this is my principle.


My final semester in a nutshell – drama in class unfolded in the most dramatic and eye opening way ever.

My Junior Year! :)

So I Googled it and found that third year can also be referred to as junior year in the US education system. I’ve decided that I wanted my title to be fancy just like all my other posts [Click here and here].

Normally before I begin a brand new semester, I would summarize about how I feel throughout that particular year of study. This time around, it is almost halfway through my semester only I have found the mood to write this post. Reason being, in all honesty, I did not enjoy my third year at all. To me, my freshman year can be categorized as sesat/lost, sophomore year is tiring and my third year, it’s really sickening but in the dark, you would find light.


Mel and I on a rainy day from KK7 to our faculty! 🙂

In my third year, I officially moved into a brand new hostel which is located far, far away from my faculty. Despite all the silent drama which I did not ask for, I survived and learnt how to bury my heart in a casket deeper in the ground so that no one will ever, ever find it for now.

Sam and Xiao Ting during MPIS 2012/2013 😉 .

In my third year, I have made new friends whom I love them dearly. This year as well, I realized that not everyone is insincere but there are still friends who are willing to be sincere and go all out for you. I met back some old friends in hostel but my presence was not welcomed in many ways. Yea, I know you wouldn’t bother explaining but I know why.

Mel, Sam and Vivian! ❤

In my third year, I took night class that ends at 11.00pm. By the time I reach my room, it would already be 11.40pm. Most of the time, around 11.40pm I would see you driving out of the compound with her next to you but I would pretend to not see your car because you wouldn’t wave to me with her next to you.

I would pose even more provocatively if it there isn’t two lecturers staring at me! =P

My outfit to my classes has became lazier than ever. Due to the strict dress code in my new hostel, I would wear my t-shirt and shorts underneath this knee length coat as in the photograph above while walking out of the hostel. People think I’m mad and yea, I think I’m really mad too =P . But oh well, madness keeps me sane =P.

Final play for my junior year! =)

Most of the time in my third year, I am too tired to be up for anything crazy. I think the craziest thing I ever did in my third year is asking for a ride from this dude on a motorbike just because I am running late for class. I have seen around this dude around hostel a few times so yea, craziest thing I ever did because desperate times call for desperate measures.

Room invasion – Adeline, Mel, Sam 🙂 

I ran off from my residential college a few times because of water shortage and sometimes it is because I don’t feel like seeing this person in the morning. Good morning means nothing anymore if it isn’t sincere in the first place. Can we talk is annoying because there wouldn’t be any conclusion at all. Everything has come to an end. I have accepted this fact in my freshman year but why wouldn’t you let it go?

Sam and Mel!

Doing your best in your assignments and presentation is considered as one of the greatest sins you can ever commit. Wow? Impressive kan? I didn’t know that and I have always thought that it was the right thing to do. This semester made me realized stuff that I have not been observing for the past 3 years. Why ah? Because it is none of my business. I didn’t even know that you have so much to say about me when you know nothing at all. You must be a worm in my stomach 🙂 .

This is true love 🙂 .

This semester, surprisingly I found love, warmth, laughter and happiness in a class that I never expect to have fun in. So it’s true then, we’ll find love where and when we least expect it to. This class made me feel welcomed and happy although at the end of the day, I will be very, very exhausted. I think in my entire 3 years of university, this is one of the classes which sends me smiling till I fell asleep.

Internship! =)

My internship [You can read all about it here] has been a great surprise to myself. Pre-internship, I didn’t know what to expect and I really hated it. Post-internship, even till this very millisecond, I feel grateful that I went for internship at this selected company. I really have learnt and grow a lot as a person. What I am always grateful for is that I have did my best, put my heart and soul into this job although I am just an intern. No regrets at all although I believe that I worked the most among my course mates.


My third year has been a year full of self-learning, discovery and disappointments. I was disappointed because of this used to be best friend attitude when we met again in university. What is wrong with you? I used to wonder but after 1-2 weeks, I didn’t wonder anymore because it is such a waste of time.

In my third year, I realized that people would always misunderstand kind/innocent intentions as being ‘bermotif’. I didn’t even think about it. When you have been misunderstood for a long time silently, you will raise your sword and shield to ensure that you are well guarded from any shit misunderstands. Why do you blame me as being ‘bermotif’ and ignorant? You pushed me to the end of the wall and expect me to allow you to kill me off. I wouldn’t for now. I am glad that I fought back. You can step over me once but never more than that.

I realized as well people whom many deemed as nice, gentle, quiet, intelligent are actually the scariest people ever. You can never know how sharp and cruel their words can be when their position is being threatened. I did nothing and you think I am eyeing on your throne and crown. Geez, keep it to yourself. I have better things to do in life for now.

All in all, I would never want to go through my third year at all. It has been too tiring but as mentioned in the post earlier on, in darkness you would still find light. May I add on, sometimes you would even see a rainbow in the dark sky 🙂 .

Semester 3, Year 3

My third year would never be complete without signing up for another semester, well known as the third or special semester. For this semester, most of my course mates and I did our internship. In all honesty, I dreaded internship because I knew there would be reports to be written and with the company that I have chosen, I knew that I would be one busy woman.

Some of my friends think that I am looking for trouble by throwing myself into the hot water because quote them:

Internship is the time to learn how to use the photostat machine like a pro! Work so hard for what, very highly paid ah?

To me, as much as I am reluctant to do this internship, I have decided; since I am jumping into the hot boiling water, let’s swim across and be a survival 😉 .


Cititel Hotel.

For my internship, I am grateful that I am given a chance to attend important training as well as a chance to participate in it as well. I count myself lucky that even though I am an intern, no one actually treats me as an intern but as an asset to the company as I am given task in the office like a full timer! =)

In my second week, I went to my company’s little gathering in conjunction of the opening of the new warehouse. During all of this little gathering, it is when I get to see everyone relaxing, smiling and communicating with one another. The scene is actually really warm. At least I don’t see cliques but rather, I see everyone mixing around 🙂 .

My first product training!

Everyone who knows me well enough knows that I have a great dislike for children and pets because I find them troublesome unless it involves a lot of money [And worth all the trouble/shit]. Oh well, the more you dislike children, the more you will land on a job which involves children. In my case, I am assigned to train children’s product. Yes, you may now laugh and thank you very much for laughing -_-.

I truly believe that one day someone will offer me a full scholarship to further my studies in Early Childhood Education or any program with the word children attached to it.

During my internship, I realized that I cannot fix anything because I don’t see it. Hahaha! Fixing this set of rack as seen in the photo above is a real headache. To be honest, I was really stunned when I saw the rack lying in pieces on the floor. *Gulp* All this kerja susah are not for me yea =P. I rather write 10 000 words essay =P.

Apart from conducting training, I have to evaluate my fellow trainees to ensure that they have been listening to my lecture. Anyway, I feel like a teacher/lecturer when I have to evaluate them. Right, the last thing I ever wanted to do is to teach. One of these days, you people are gonna see me working as teacher/lecturer because the world is just so cute.

The Royale Bintang Damansara hotel! 🙂

I am grateful to be given a chance to stay over at a 5 star hotel as an intern! Hahaha! Mana nak cari kan? =P

Ah… I am also given a chance to present in front of my company’s client and well, I hope I did well =X. This is definitely one of the best experiences that I ever had in my life! =)

Training can be a headache especially when the trainees are not paying attention and when you question them, they give ridiculous answers that can send your blood pressure rocketing. But I will calm myself down by reminding myself that I used to be a very bad student in class because I never pay attention too. No wonder in Form 6 all my teachers wanna strangle and hang me on the moving fan =/.

From my expression in this photo when I zoomed in, I think I am the verge of murdering the trainees for mispronouncing so many words. For example, orange sac is orange sex, world’s number 1 best juice is worst number 1 best juice, orange pulp is orange bulb. Sometimes, their pronunciation makes me feel like banging my head on the wall/table because well, too awesome la.

The less headache part is to teach the trainees how to set up a booth but I always pray that they remember the small details when they are on field and not do anything funky and then point their fingers at me. All the time I emphasize the small details and make them repeat one by one so that they do not suicide/die/mati on field.

Appreciation Dinner at TGIF 😉 !

I truly enjoyed my dinner at TGIF and this dinner makes me feel appreciated because all of us [Management and trainees!] involved for an event worked really hard. It always feels good when your hard work is paid off 🙂 .

Sometimes I have to conduct sample tasting session so that the trainees know the exact taste they should make for their samples. So I guess apart from being a trainer, sometimes we multitask to be a chef/’chef’/waitress =P.

My university supervisor, Dr. Zaidah visited me just to make sure that I am still in one piece and bukan kena cincang 100000001 times =P. Her visit made me miss my faculty [For once] with its pink paints which still look like some klinik kesihatan/pergigian.

Everyone be prepared to laugh again. Because my final product training takes place in the same room, same number of trainee and same product as my first training. Well, let’s end it off where it begins 😉 .

Anyway, enough of work stuff. Let me show you my daily entertainment during my internship:

Sam [UM], Nano [UTM], Neo [UKM] – Interns for special semester from different universities!

The three of us will always try to meet other in the morning and evening to kecohkan the whole coach. I really do believe that people have already recognized us/our voice and hate us so much because we disrupt the peace in the coach =P.

This is what you get on WhatsApp when you miss a train! =P Ahahahahahaha!

Instagram-ing look of the day via WhatsApp to show some lebih-ness. I don’t look lebih in this photo but this gives you an idea of my pretty muka bangun pagi =P.

To Nano, I know right now you wanna punch me because I have no class today. Here, I help you to punch me via this photo. I am so thoughtful. Sama-sama yea xD.


My internship experience overall has been enriching. I have learnt and grew a lot as a person. I have never once regretted entering this company. If I were given a chance to remake my decision, I wouldn’t and I would pick this company 10000001 times. To conclude this post, I am extremely grateful that I have a wonderful on-site supervisor as well as good teammates and some colleagues which I can rely on.

All I am glad is that I managed to swim to the other end of the pole despite being burnt all over. The scars are all worth it when I saw my result online. Some of my friends mocked me says they do not work as hard as me in order to achieve the same result. Well, at least I worked my way up for it and I knew that I truly deserve the grade that I received.

We may walk different path in order to achieve the same goal but what matters is the lesson that we have learnt and how much we grow as a person. You may share the same grade as me by going through an easier road but how much did you learn and grow? 😉