There is a tie between The Letter and The Colourful and Artsy Letter in the poll. Right now, I will first write/disclose The Letter because let’s save the best for the last [The best between the two tie letters] ! Hehehe!
The Letter is actually an unsent letter. It was a letter written by me in reply to a then best friend’s letter. The letter was never given to him because I feel that he simply isn’t worth it. Our friendship went through many ups and downs because of his stupidity. Today, I consider this friendship gone because I really had enough. There are reconciliation efforts taken by this best friend but I can never bring myself to reciprocate this effort. Mainly it is because I don’t want to be hurt anymore and I do not want to be reminded of his extreme stupidity.
This letter was written back in February 2009. If the then said best friend is ever reading this post, I really don’t know how he would feel! Imagine getting a reply that you have been waiting for back then 5 years later!
He wrote me a letter and honestly, I was very surprised when I received it! Anyway, his letter wasn’t very pleasing la. He wrote it very nicely but I guess, he didn’t know that the content of the letter is hurtful. Even today when I read it, I was reminded of how obvious he made it that I was just an option and never a priority. I stuck around being friends with him because I value our friendship enough.
In his letter, he mentioned that our friendship is blessed by God and he hopes that I will give us a chance to be together. In all honesty, I have never thought about being with him at all [For now] because the kind of closeness that we share is only at the friendship level. At the point of writing that letter to him, my feelings were mixed up because there are so many things to worry about. STPM is at the end of the year and there are quite a few issues in friendship to be solved at that point.
In his letter, he mentioned his ex-girlfriend and the entire story disappointed me. I am okay with you liking me [In fact, I will be surprised] but I hate it when you take me as a rebound and perhaps, you see it as an easy way out. To me, this is one of the worst friendship betrayal you can ever do unto me. I have always felt that feelings don’t fade away as easily and many times, I can sense how people feel but I just don’t say it out.
Even until today, some best friends told me that if I ever date him, he would love me very much. I do agree but I am also very sure that his extreme stupidity will annoy me 1038373832919 times. Apart from that, I will always be reminded that how he goes after me because I am the best friend who is always there for him. The latter will scare me off enough. Hahaha! Sudah kena blacklist for now.
Even until today, I still love my freedom very much. In fact, if I am ever restricted, I would feel very miserable. For now, relationships are not for me. It confuses me all the time – did I bring the wrong attitude/mindset into a relationship or I happen to meet the wrong/dumb guys. I really don’t know. Mel is right, I am very afraid of falling in love so the moment I realized that the guy is not as good as he seems to be, I would be very glad and thank God for it [Based on a real story].
I realize that I would ignore and try to walk away from any friendship that has potential to turn into relationship. It scares me very, very much although people say it is good to marry your best friend. In my case, I am afraid of crossing the border of friendship and bringing it to love relationship. What if it didn’t work out and we are left with nothing?
The final part of the letter will not be uploaded because I mentioned his name and this is supposed to be anonymous! Hahaha! So whoever who knows this person, don’t say a word 😉 Just keep it to yourself. To be fair, I will type out the final part of the letter below:
…once in a relationship, there is a limit to everything that one does. I just hope that you understand that I am not fit to be in a relationship right now and we should just remain as best friends =).
Please don’t wait for me, it will not be fruitful… I don’t want to waste your time. Just trust me, I am not the one for you. There are many more things I wish I could tell you, but I think it’s best that it was left unsaid. But anyway, we will stay as best friends! Okay? =) Take care.
Reading back this entire letter reminded me of the many things I have been wanting to tell him but I didn’t dare to because his opinion might be biased and prejudiced. I can’t remember if I ever tell him about it but right now, it is no longer important. He used to be one of my best friends whom we never get bored of seeing one another but today, it is never the same anymore. Also, I completely did not intend to reply the last part of his letter because it spells desperation.
This entire post reminded me of a genius advice given by Nano to me recently regarding some people in my life right now:
His feelings might be true but his stupidity is unacceptable!
Such a true and wise piece of advice which I never except to hear it from Nano.