Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Envelope Sealed with A Smile and Ribbon

Aha! So according to the poll here, you are curious about the content of this envelope. This was a letter written by Nano to me after STPM. She put the letter in my house letterbox and the most epic part? I didn’t even know about it! Haha! I didn’t know that she is good at giving surprises! Hehehe!

When I first got the letter, I was wondering who sent it to me! Then I saw the cute smile and neat ribbon, I knew it has to be a female sender [Hahaha!!! Look at the pinkness of the ribbon and attention to detail – not something I would think a guy would do =P ]. I think she did text me so that I would check my mailbox but somehow I was quite shock when I saw this cute envelope. Ah, I just I just woke up or came back from somewhere so yea, I am overwhelmed [Actually I refuse to admit that I sesat-ed for a moment].

I felt really excited when I was opening the envelope! Hehehe! Well, it is like opening up a birthday/Christmas present and I was even more sure that it was a female sender because of the colourful writing as well as decorative paper! =P Well, I have yet to know/meet guys who actually write using colourful pens on decorative papers! =P And if I do know/stumble upon any, I’ll let you know! Maybe he’s one artistic dude yea! 😉

From the very first word of the letter, I was overwhelmed till the very last word. Yes, this letter is indeed a surprise and I love good surprises! ❤

I think my farewell letter to Nano was a rather sad one that’s why she started off the opposite way in her opening paragraph! =P That year in Upper 6 before or after STPM, I wrote many letters to best friends and friends because I really appreciate their presence in my Form 6 life. Without them, LIFE IS SO DULL AND DOWN. Everyone in Form 6 [Yes, even the kiasu and annoying one] has made my life so much better. Honestly, they taught me to be a better person  and I have always believed that my life in Form 6 has to be one of the turning points in my life for the better. I may not be that number 1 student in school, but from this, I have learnt to always give and try my best. Giving up is never an option for now.

Nano was so happy to see me on the first day of Lower 6 and I wasn’t thrilled at all hahahahahaha! [You can read all about it here] I was such a mean person but well, her niceness changed me so I guess, that’s something good. Honestly without her in KHS, my life would be duller than ever because I have no one to disturb/irritate every single day of my life. Hahahahahahahaha! I bet you miss me irritating you now! =P Come to think about it, Nano is a really active student in Convent and I think she has decided to focus on studies in Form 6 until I dragged her out for activities.

I joined countless activities when I was in Form 6 and I absolutely love them but once I enter university, I have a different purpose. In all honesty, I have learnt a lot life skills and gained lots of valuable experiences from all the extra co-curricular activities in Form 6. So much that when I entered university, when I am put to do the same thing, I got really bored because I didn’t get to learn anything. In the end, I opted to work while studying and this has enriched my exposure to the working world as well as my wallet for now… Hehehe!

I miss chatting Nano over the phone too! Especially when she says:

Wait ah, I go get biscuit/food first.

Sorry ah you gained weight hahahahahahahahahaha! Anyway, I am really glad that throughout my university years, Nano and I did keep in touch so we basically know each other friends [I even ganged up with her friends to bully her =P *Win!*] which is a very good thing! So I guess, it is the effort that you make in order to keep the distance closer to one another 😉 !

The thing about friendship is – most of the time you learn from one another. You extract what is good about the other person and learn/try to emulate this good point of theirs. It’s like trying to make a fusion of your friend’s good side with yours. So yes, good friends make you a better person. What I have learnt from Nano is to keep things simple so that I don’t have to think so much. Things are really great once you keep it simple. Well, if you overdo it, you will end up being ignorant so finding a balance is the key to it.

The thing about being true to myself and everyone else – people either love it or hate it. Sometimes with people, you gotta act and pretend because they like watching movie so you gotta be one helluva Oscar Award Best Actress winner. Well, I guess now I will choose to show my true self to certain people because most of the time, no one appreciates it.

All the time, I am really grateful to have true friends [For now] because sometimes, I feel like such a nasty person like me don’t deserve them! Hahaha! I think they are all such good friends with high level of patience and toleration. Well, I guess I should give credits to myself for being a good friend too. If I am so bad, I don’t think anyone wanna be friends with me anymore lo =P… Anyway, I hope Nano means the REAL Barney and not the cetak rompak Barney in this post. Just in case you are wondering, the cetak rompak Barney looks like this:

Just convince me again that this isn’t Barney ==…

Hehe! I am very honoured that you used this big word on me! Very terharu as well. Well, I guess we love each other [For now!] enough to use the word. And yes my Nano, I kept the letter and it was well kept lagi tu okay! See, I appreciate it so, so much! ❤

Cards of Memories: Part I

I opened my book closet and I saw a few plastic bags filled with cards. I went through the first bag and while reading some of the cards, I smiled and even laughed! It reminded me of so many things and yes, I am so glad that I kept all of them well – the good and the bad. Throughout the years I have thrown away letters that were written people whom I do not want to remember anymore but, I will always keep the lovely ones. It is already hard enough to forget the bad memories so yea, I don’t wanna be reminded of any horrible stuff by your written words. Of course, there are always exceptions especially when I see lessons to learn from it.

This is a Valentine’s gift-card from a classmate in Form 6. He has been chasing me from the first day of Lower 6 right up to… I don’t know when because every time I thought he has already given up – he would do something funky and give me a headache. But anyway, last I knew he already has a girlfriend so I am really happy for him! If you are curious, he is known as Chafe written in this post.

I was contemplating if his gift-card is worth being on my blog and yea, some of you may be surprised! He gave me so much to remember [The nightmare of course!] and this is to applaud his childish bravery and effort. Now I am wondering – what makes him fall in love with me on the first day of school O.O … Well, I do appreciate his gift-card which is why I am still keeping it 😉 .

And this is my first ever Valentine’s card in my entire life and it was given to me by Sage which I have also mentioned about it here. When I read his card, I just remember that the last time we saw and talk to each other was back in 2009. Wow?! It has been such a long time and through all this years, we never say anything to each other at all. Anyway, I like his card a lot because at least he did make an effort to write a personalized message in it and it’s not a one line kinda thing. I really love cards with a touch of personal message.

I still remember when I first received the card from him, I was so happy and touched because someone actually wants to give me a Valentine’s day card. Well, actually he told me so the day before but I didn’t believe him because people always find me ugly and unattractive so I thought he just saja cakap for fun la. I am so sorry Sage! Oh and I remember we hugged in school [HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That’s why I love KHS! ❤ ] and I almost cried but no one saw it so thank God =P.

This is the Christmas card which I received from my best friend in the year 2002. See! I ada hati okay still simpan this card. Hehe! When I read the content, I feel it’s really childish but very terharu when I baca balik now. Looking back in 2002, I wasn’t a good friend at all so I can’t blame anyone when our friendship fell. Anyway, it broke for a good reason la, if not then I wouldn’t be close to Ee Jane and Zaharah =P.

Hmm, now that I think about it this best friend and I weren’t very compatible. Okay la, maybe I am saying this because we are no longer on talking terms. Right, actually it’s just me. Look, I admit it. But anyway, I really, really appreciate her card very much and this little yellow pouch that she bought for me from Cambodia. If I were given a chance to rekindle our friendship, I would go for it. But somehow, it feels a little too late in many ways.

I got this in my second year of university and I think everyone knows who sent me this card [Hint: This is the girl!]. I kept it because I laughed when I read the content. So vain of her but I think she only does that to me. Alah, not everyone can take this kinda vain sentence and laugh at it one okay. You need mad people like me to digest it well =P…

When I first knew her, she is wasn’t close to the word crazy and in less than a year, she has been infected. Ah! I am so proud of myself!! I bet this girl didn’t expect to see her own card here =P !

Just in case you are wondering who Lesley is, she is my roommate during my second year in university. She is really, really, really nice and a devoted Christian. I felt like a devil right next to her. I remember when I first read what she wrote, I teared a little because it was so sincere. In university, you don’t often feel sincerity from people so when I feel the slightest sincerity, I am easily moved. I may not show it at times but I really do appreciate everything that people do for me.

My best friend Zaharah asked me to keep this back in Form 5 because she said one day she is gonna be famous and I can sell this for money. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Ee Jane and I always make fun of her bad handwriting but she is very proud of it [Perihal dua orang dengan tulisan buruk gelak kat orang lain punya tulisan buruk =P ]. Anyway Zaharah, I am still waiting for you to be famous then I can auction this off.

Oh I forgot to mention, I kept this paper after our teacher discussed the answer and I have the exact same answer as her. Why ah? I copy hers la what else. Why again?! Because I am very lazy lo. Well, the teacher is gonna ask one person from the entire class to answer one question so… I won’t get to answer the question if Zaharah has already answered it. Hehe, so genius but yet so lazy =P. Hey wait, this isn’t laziness… This is CREATIVITY! =P

My Form 3 Science teacher gave me this card as a token of appreciation for helping her. Once again, I am so touched because no teacher back in secondary school actually appreciated my effort in whatever I am doing. Okay fine, that’s because I am very low profile and I wasn’t a very good student because I am really lazy. In my defense, there is a lot of favoritism and teacher’s pet around so you don’t get a chance to showcase your talent in any way unless you are a straight A student which I wasn’t one in school.

Basically, I would be very happy if they actually remembered my name/existence in class. Wait, they do remember my name and existence because Ee Jane and I wouldn’t stop talking hahahahahaha! xD

This is the card that depicts AWESOME CUSTOMER SERVICE. I remembered that I wrote in because they overcharged me for a burger and they called me up and apologized so sincerely so I forgave them. Anyway, they didn’t refund my money but they gave me this card with lots of vouchers in it! In return, I have showed them my undying support for so many years and I hope that today, their customer service is still as good as ever!I would be so disappointed if they don’t maintain their standards because I have gone around telling people how McDonald’s has one of the best customer service, how they made me felt so appreciated [At least my opinion was valued okay!] and most importantly, their toilets are ALWAYS clean whenever I am in for a visit. I’m lovin’ it! Haha! So much raves I think tomorrow I wanna run to McDonald’s to eat the Great Chicken Burger! ❤

This card was dropped into my mailbox by hand and when I received it, I was really surprised! I didn’t expect Show Ling to send me a Christmas card and yes, I am once again so very touched! And look, it is a personalized card so that makes me love it even more! It made me feel so happy because you took time to pen down some nice words for me. It is a gift more expensive than gold and this is something that money can never buy! 😉

This is my surprise birthday card from Ching Yin! She hid my present inside the card and wrote a note on the envelope to tell me about it. How cute can that be anymore?! I remember she came to my house just to deliver this gift-card and wa, really terharu lo!!! And also, she chose such a pretty looking card and even personalized it. Though she is not very good with words but I can feel her sincerity! ❤ Thank you so much for being such a great friend and daughter! ❤ ❤

This piece of paper goes back to the year 2003 or 2004 back in Sunday Class. I remember we were made to stick a piece of paper at our back and we are to write what we think about our friend. After that game, the teachers told us to keep it because one day when we look back, we will appreciate it. True enough, I do appreciate it but at the same time, it reminded me of many hypocrites in the class.

If you look at the piece of paper, I am surprised they actually said that I am funny or friendly because I don’t remember myself being very funny or friendly to them. Or maybe they wrote it out of courtesy, perhaps they have nothing else to write about me so cincai tulis/copy one thing? Well, I wouldn’t know today. And people even wrote that I am kind. It makes me wonder when was I even kind to them? Maybe ada and I don’t remember anything but then again, I doubt it la.

I get more description of being cute than pretty [Only one person wrote that I am pretty but I guess it is out of courtesy] and in fact, I really think if they could write ugly, they would. I know that very well because until today, people still think I am ugly but I can’t be bothered anymore because I don’t want to conform to your notion of beauty. And I know who wrote the word cute in red! Haha! You are so easily recognized because you were only one using a red pen 😉 . Well, I still appreciate our friendship a lot even though I don’t really wanna see you anymore.

This is what I got for my Confirmation Camp back in 2007. We were given brown envelopes and people are supposed to write stuff to you. Unfortunately for me, no one wrote to me apart from these few people who actually cared to write a few words. Some girls get nice letters but I don’t because I am ugly/unattractive/dying to go home. I don’t blame them because I wrote to no one too. In fact, I was sleeping most of the time because I was so bored during the entire camp and got even more bored of seeing/listening to hypocrites.

Ah, no wonder I wasn’t liked! Haha! Doesn’t matter anymore because for now, I have friends who love me for who I am ❤ . Seeing this just reminded me how depressed I felt for 6 years in Sunday Class. But oh well, in darkness, you will find light and know who your true friends are 😉 .

~*~

On my way of rummaging around, I found three interesting letters which I would love to share with you guys. But, let’s take a vote to see which I shall first write about. To the writer of these letters, don’t sendiri tuk bao sendiri okay ;). Let’s keep it a mystery! =D If you have forgotten about it, all the better because this shall be a surprise for you as well! 😉 ❤

This is The Letter =P .

This is The Colourful and Artsy Letter 😉 !

This is The Envelope Sealed with a Smile and Ribbon 😉 .

Cast your vote below! =D Final poll result will be taken on Friday 3pm 😀 .

Pride & Ego

When I was 18, my National Service instructor wrote in my biography book [Does anyone still remember this?!] and until today, I still remember what he wrote very vividly. He advised me to throw the ego in me far away if I ever want to be a better person. Back then, I really do not think that I am an egoistic person. Now that I look back, I still think I am really nice and humble back then [Cehwah… Haha!]. Today, after so many years, I finally came to realize the meaning of his piece of wise advice.

I think he said that because even though I don’t show my ego to people at all, but my ego does stop me from doing and saying a lot of things. For example, my ego will stop me from confessing my true feelings to a guy. Honestly, I rather let and watch him live happily ever after with another woman than having me to tell him about how I feel. I would really rather live without this guy for now. Well, you can say that he didn’t mean that much to me as much as my pride then. Okay, it’s true for now. I feel that it is utmost important that I do not lose my pride for now because this is like one of the thinnest strings of respect you can have for yourself.

People are always telling me that I do and say stupid things all the time but that didn’t affect me because when it comes to certain matter or people, I would think through a billion times before doing or saying anything. Most of the time, I would seek for advice from my mother or best friends [Although most of the time I have already made up my mind] and if they agree with me, all the better and if they don’t, I will have to sleep over it.

A few days ago my used to be best friend’s dream came true. He passed all his papers and now he has achieved his childhood dream. When I heard the news from another friend, the first things I felt was happiness and I smiled because I was so happy for him. I was really, really happy that his dream came true but after a few moments, I was reminded of this conversation years ago:

“So… This is a promise?”

“Huh? What promise? To graduate together?”

“A promise that you will be there for me on the day I achieve my dream.”

“Definitely. I promise.”

All of a sudden, I felt pretty left out but then again, I have been left out for so many years so I guess it goes away quickly. I picked my phone, typed a rather long congratulations and well wishes message but wham! My ego came into place and I deleted the entire chunk of message. Some say I have nothing to lose and if it makes me happier, I should congratulate him. To me, my pride is at stake and no, I really would not feel any happier if I did send that message. In fact, I do not want my kind intention to be misinterpreted as being bitchy/slutty in any way at all.

In the end, my best friends told me to not bother such a redundant ‘best friend’ and that I did the right thing by deleting off the message. So I believe that we both broke our promise [What a thing to happen!] to one another but right now, who still cares about it. I don’t intend to post this up but I felt that I have learnt a good lesson from this so yea, this is gonna be published so that one day when I read back, I will still remember this very good lesson.

Don’t waste your words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.

-Mandy Hale-

There’s a point in your life where you get tired of chasing everyone and fixing everything. It is not giving up.. It is realizing that you don’t need certain people in your life, the drama and bullshit they bring.

-Tan Kean Jie: I have also quoted him in this post

Six Years

The title of this post indicates the age difference between one of my colleague and I. My colleague is 6 years younger than I am so that makes her 18. Last week during our lunch, we happened to talk about relationships and what I see in her is purely innocence. When I was talking to her, her eyes were full of hope, it glistens as she speaks about true love. This ray of hope has been gone in me since forever.

When she found out about my love life, she was taken aback. Then she asked me one very intelligent question:

What if you really, really, really, really, really love that one person? Will you overlook everything and embrace a new relationship?

When I heard that question, I only remembered the times I overlook everything just to be with that one person. Sometimes even if your love is mutual, it may not work out. In the end, my reply to her was simple:

I don’t know if I can love anyone anymore apart from myself. 

I am not sure if my answers to some of her questions were too negative or realistic but I guess, there’s a little bit of both. I wanted to be truthful because to me, life isn’t all about the flowers along the way, there are thorns too. Sometimes when I talk to people who are way younger than I am, I don’t know how I should respond to them about life questions. In the end, I have decided to be truthful. My answer can be negative yet realistic but included with real stories from which I have learnt my lessons from.

These days, I tend to be less skeptical when I listen to colleagues who are way older than I am. In fact, I love talking to them because I can learn so much more. After all, they are more experienced in life than I am. Anyway, the innocent 18 years old colleague questioned me again:

Right now, do you still have the slightest feelings for any guys?

My reply is short and simple:

No one is worth it anymore after six years. 

As the theme of the film Frozen, sisterly love is now the new love 😉 .

Blue Pinafores

Early February 2014, I attended Explore Program organized by TalentCorp and yes, it was all a good experience. To me, the most memorable moment during the program was me looking out of the bus window as we passed by SMK Puteri Ampang. This school reminded me of countless betrayal from one of my guy best friends whom we are no longer on talking terms anymore.

Ee Jane and I bergaya-ing with Add Maths books! 😛

A few seconds later, I saw two girls sitting on a bench and they were chit chatting until one of them swept a leaf off her best friend’s head. I smiled at them and to my surprise, they saw me smiling at them! Haha! They really do look shock and perhaps they are wondering what I must be thinking at that moment!

Honestly, the first person that came to my mind was Ee Jane. I remember all the really mad things we did like sitting on the floor of 7-11 just to have our cup noodles and climbing this short tree outside the school and try to act like as if we sangat hebat can/dare to panjat pokok. Come to think about it now, no one actually really layan-ed my craziness in school apart from Ee Jane. Well, I guess she puts up with my randomness and I put up with her mood swings.

I have no idea what we are doing! Hahaha!!

I remember Ee Jane and I used to talk a lot back then but right now, I really can’t remember what we talked about. Now during gatherings, most of the time we play games and rarely chit chat. But the strangest thing, for now our telepathy still exist! Just last week, I wore a hair bow to the gathering and she wore a hair bow theme top! At that moment, I was SO glad that this kind of stuff still happen! Woohoo!! *Victory!*

Hair bow theme for the night! ❤ 

Back then and now we are both in different industries, our mutual friends reduced significantly and we have new best friends/best friends forever. Somewhere in you, you know that you may not have a lot/any topic in common anymore but the friendship bond- you know it’s always there, stronger than ever because that’s what true friendship is all about.

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