The year 2012 was a year where I was made to revisit my past for reasons that I have yet to fully comprehend. As much as I do not want to revisit my past because I strongly feel that the past ought to be left in the past, but what do you do when you made to revisit your past? There is no other way but to face it courageously and it will serve as a reminder for me to remember my past life lessons.
P/S: All photos are in chronological order unless otherwise stated :). By the way, the first photo of this post, is not in chronological order! =P !!
Me and some cutesy hair curl stuff in Secret Recipe!!
At the beginning of 2012, I had bangs for the very first time after many, many years and I received different comments from people. Well, I personally feel that it is a fresh look and I DO look really, really cute [And younger! 😉 ] with bangs ! By the way, I started off this post with a cute/crazy photo of me because I miss being crazy <3.
Top L-R: Nano, Pek Yen, Ai Leng
Bottom L-R: Weng Chiew, Sam, Ee Jane, Pico, Camilla, Carson
In 2012, I kinda realized that as much as I do not enjoy going for certain events, at the end of the day, I would still go for it because I wanted to spend time with my friends/do not want to be left out because this cannot happen to me [Hahaha!!! ]. At the end of the day, when I do feel extremely tired and probably bored from repetitive activity throughout the whole day, when I look back at the photographs – I think so far, no regrets yet because I get to be with my dearest best friends ❤ .
Sam, Ee Jane, Pek Yen.
Ee Jane came back for holidays last year and guess what, I feel happy and sad at the same time. I feel happy because she is back and we do get to meet up but it is sad because I feel the gap between us is increasing. It is all my fault because I never bother to keep in touch with her much. Why? Because I am selfish and all the time, I was trying to fix something else. But what I am glad is, towards the end of the year, our gap reduced and yea, I don’t feel the distance anymore for now . Especially when we actually talked about bird poop from 2012 till 2013 [Inside story =P] and the fact remains, we still talk about stuff like armpits, buttocks and telepathy .
Defphane and I :).
At the beginning of the year, I went to meet my primary and secondary school friends. Meeting up with them reminded me that I love being friends with people who are simple and happy whereby, the friendship is sincere even without needing to interact with each other often . I love it more when I have something inside my heart to pour out, they are always there <3. Thank you so much my dears <3.
It has been the longest ever since I last received a bouquet of roses for Valentine’s day and in 2012, I received one by a really good surprise. I am truly happy and touched. I am thankful for everything that had happened and I truly believe that I was once really happy before things fall apart. Fish Leong has a song entitled 爱久见人心:
爱久见人心? Yea, now I think so. I know where do I stand right now and how important I am but who cares about it anymore .
In March, I went for the 4th Putrajaya International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta with this person whose hand I was holding the whole day. Back in the days where I was younger, I met one of my best friend’s girlfriend as a past. We shook hands and it felt cold, strange and awkward because it feels like as if the past and the present are trying to connect when in actuality, the past and present should never connect with one another.
Ever since that day, I wonder how does it feels like to be in the present’s position to meet the past. I spoke too soon because 3 years later, I was in that position. Holding his hands while his past and I look at each other while walking in the opposite direction gives me a strange feeling. It reminded me that this person once loved the past. It made me wonder if the past and I share any similarity at all and it made me think of many things at that point of time.
My belated birthday dinner at TGIF Sunway Pyramid : ).
One day in March 2012, I was introduced to this girl. To me, she is the exact definition of ‘tak sedar diri’ and pretentious, for now I am very glad that I do not need to meet her anymore. Her arrogance, tak sedar diri-ness and being bangga over nothing has nothing to do with me anymore. To people who still thinks that she is nice/has no problem, I couldn’t be bothered anymore because now I know why the both of you can get along . Well, what do you expect from birds of the same feathers? Well, they flock and flap their wings together .
Woan Min, Carmen.
Melissa and I.
Apart from that, Woan Min, Carmen and Melissa treated me on my birthday! Thank you girls! ❤ And also, I received an unique gift from Ee Jane and something that I wanted from Nano and Pico . Thank you so much for the effort and thought. To everyone else who remembered my birthday, thank you so much . To people who purposely ignored my birthday, thank you too because I will ignore yours as well. You don’t expect me to not ignore you, aren’t you? 😉
A Leow, my Small B and I during CC Reunion Dinner 2012.
A Leow and I may not talk all the time but what I love about our buddy relationship is that despite not interacting much with each other, we would always remember each other’s birthday, sitting together during events, hoping for the best for each other [Especially during the hostel application period!] and wishing each other for Chinese New Year, Christmas, New Year and such, you name it .
Wei Shen and I during 7th College MKC 2011/2012.
In 2012, I was helping out with the makeup for 7th College MKC. It was a great experience because I really, really love doing makeup for people and I am trying to improve as well ! On that day, I saw can see that the juniors were so united and I feel so touched when they sang the theme song together. This is an experience that I never had in my freshman year. Why? Because I never join lo. Why I never join? Because I am not interested. Do I regret it? No, not yet because I know the reason for everything that I did in my freshman year ;).
Vivian Lim as the Mad Hatter female version and I! =D
In 2012, I am very proud of myself for creating the Mad Hatter female version for one of my elective courses ! It is fun and I thank God that I wasn’t made to draw anything because I cannot draw an apple to save my own life =P … I can draw a star and sun though! And during our project presentation, I realized that it is never easy to study makeup courses especially if you are not artistically talented [Like me] but I am glad that I made it through ! Thank you God!
In 2012, I attended a hostel dinner and finally, I had the chance to wear the blue dress for the second or third time =|… I think I need more excuses to wear pretty dress like this . Anyway, this dress is a birthday gift from Ee Jane and she has very good taste 😉 !
In 2012, I became more vain because I think my level of vanity increases proportionally with my age . Hahaha!! As Ee Hahn nicknamed me – Vain Pot, therefore I must always live up to my nickname. I just think that I look damn good in this photo. Do you think if I send this in to TVB – they would employ me? Or Hollywood? Or some modelling agency wanna hire me and make me their top model? Do you think I stand a chance? Do you think that I am a model/singer [I’ll go take singing and dancing classes if you say yes hahaha just joking!!! xD !!!]/actress material?
Anyway, I am done prasan-ing because the whole point of the picture is… there is a another picture of it but a crazy version. Why I wanna show you the crazy version? Because I need to comfort myself that I am still as crazy as before .
There… Now you know, do not judge a book by its cover! I think I look cute in this photo… What do you think? Let me know :
Sam, Pek Yen, Camilla and Nano at Chatime Kajang.
Chatime finally made its way to Kajang and I love Chatime! My favourite pick used to be lychee yakult qq but now I love roasted pearl milk tea with grass jelly and pearls ! What about you? Tell me your favourite Chatime drink! Anyway, I managed to gain 2kg in 2012 and now I am desperately trying to lose it because I think I look quite aunty from the back T___T. Don’t tell me that I think too much, I can’t stand looking this way/I am a vain pot.
Ee Hahn and Ala – at our old ponteng spot, Ayza!
I met my Form 6 best friends and these people gave me strength and confidence whenever I needed some. When I met Ee Hahn, I was reminded of the times in school where we used to chit chat before assembly begins about how we are not bothered about our Mathematics homework and proceed to talk about twin peaks and just… everything else in between. When I met Kean Jie, I am reminded of the times in school where he will say somethg pun-ny like ‘penekan kata’ and when I don’t get it, he will give me the look and gets quite sien with me because I am Miss Adorable =P…
Nano is locked outside of the car! =P
Nano is still my victim whenever I needed someone to hear my rants because SMS-ing and calling her is free! Also, I wish that I can have Internet wherever I am so that I can message Ee Jane on Facebook and ask for some head whacks because sometimes, I do need some just to wake up and it is very important to me. These two best friends of mine keep me sane and on my toes most of the time. So please continue scolding and giving me head whacks ya !
Also in 2012, Nano was relocated to Skudai, Johore and with that, I think I am all alone here in Kajang because no one is free to layan me during weekends anymore. This is sad because Ee Jane is all the way at India [Across the sea!] and Nano is now across another state!
In 2012, as I have mentioned, it is a walk down my past. I met W [Click here and here] and he was with his girlfriend. Although W and I were never officially together because things screwed up, it still feels strange to meet W with his present girlfriend and we both look at each other in the eye as simple past tense. Everything that happened between us is now water under the bridge. To me, once it’s over, it is over. As strange as I want to feel when we both met, deep down I know that W and I can never ever be friends anymore. Why? Because what he did and said is totally unacceptable. Yes, even until today.
In 2012 as well, I met another person from my past in 2008. This person is another person whom I do not want to meet anymore because he reminded of the times where we missed out on each other on the crossroad. With him, even as a friend, I feel unappreciated and there are questions that I have was left unanswered. Back then, I really, really do want the answer but today, no, I don’t need them anymore for now. What I do not like is that if we are not meant to be, I do not want to be put into positions and situations where it all reminded me of how much fate and coincidence that we share so far.
I hate looking out of the window just to catch a glimpse of you and when I do find myself doing so, I have to stop myself from doing such a thing. Why? Because I know it isn’t right and whatever you did and say to me that night in 2012 and 2010, I have seen your true colours. I have forgotten about the night in 2010 but thank you for reminding me again after 2 years. Whatever you want to think of me, please go ahead because I do not care anymore for now! Are you important to me? No for now because from the very beginning, I was the only one who placed importance on you and never you on me. In 2012, I finally understood this part of the lyric in one of my favourite songs:
~Diao Le by A-Mei~
In the very same year, I realized that sometimes, the longer you know a person, the more you will never be able to understand that one person and the more complicated it becomes. I have nothing much to say to this person anymore for now because what is there to say when this person says one thing and does another [As if the person will admit it?]? Everyone is a hypocrite in their own way but as for you, I think you are way too extreme.
To these few people:
~I’m Okay by Athena~
Cassandra and I! ❤
In 2012, I went travelling rather often and I really, really do enjoy traveling although it is tiring! I realized that in 2012, I walked a lot and to me, that is enjoyable although I think I became much darker than I was in 2011. Still, walking helped me to relax as I do entertain my thoughts and sometimes, if I do think about you during my thinking while walking, I would send you a SMS/give you a call just to let you know that I am thinking about you. Why did I do so? Because I wanted you to smile and think about me too ;).
Xiao Ting and I at MPIS 2012/2013 <3.
I attended my current residential college dinner this year [That makes two different annual hostel dinner that I attended in 2012!] and it feels different. I sat on a table with 9 other people whom I do not know at all but I am very glad that all of them tried to make me feel home and as part of them that towards the end of the night, I do feel home and as a part of them . This is the dinner that I attended and I am not thrilled about it from the beginning. The night before the dinner, I was on Facebook with Ee Jane discussing about hairstyles and yea, this shows my lack of enthusiasm for the dinner because knowing myself, I would definitely prepare and discuss about it weeks before the dinner takes place.
To be very honest, on the day of the dinner itself, I thought about just going home [And if Ee Jane knows about it, she would probably whack my head]. But then, the dinner fees has already been charged into my account and when I think about it, I did all my best to avoid this particular person because it isn’t right to not avoid when you can do so for certain reasons.
That afternoon in my room, I told myself that no matter what happens, I should dress up [Like a diva ] and show up because that is what Samantha Quek would do. I am glad that I did because that night, I have found many new friends and I had fun as well !
I saw this on Ee Jane’s Facebook wall and decided to give it a go ! The words that I saw in order:
Love, youth, beauty
I don’t mind youth and beauty but I mind love . Ee Jane, Nano and Pico saw money and that is what I want T__T. I actually have to prick my eyes open just to look for the word money . Also, this is just a game for fun so I shall not take it seriously yet =P… But when I really, really do have no money in 2013, I shall blame it on this then .
And I wanted to share this lovely photo of Porkie and I because I think we look damn good together in this photo .
As I have mentioned, the year 2012 is a year where I took a walk down my past and I realize that, feelings don’t change easily. To that 4 person, thank you for still liking me =]… I appreciate it although I am quite sure that I would not be able to return it. As of now, I have no idea how to love a person anymore.
All in all, the year 2012 has been a year full of changes and it is indeed a walk down my past. What I have always been glad is that I am courageous enough to face it with an open heart ! I have learnt a good deal of lessons in 2012 and I am going to pen it down so that I will never ever forget it.
The song that will always reminded me of the year 2012 would be Through The Rain by Mariah Carey because I can relate myself to it in every way possible. And yes, I still believe that for now, there would always be sunshine and rainbows after the rain .