Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Year 2012

The year 2012 was a year where I was made to revisit my past for reasons that I have yet to fully comprehend. As much as I do not want to revisit my past because I strongly feel that the past ought to be left in the past, but what do you do when you made to revisit your past? There is no other way but to face it courageously and it will serve as a reminder for me to remember my past life lessons.

P/S: All photos are in chronological order unless otherwise stated :). By the way, the first photo of this post, is not in chronological order! =P !!

~*~

Me and some cutesy hair curl stuff in Secret Recipe!! 

At the beginning of 2012, I had bangs for the very first time after many, many years and I received different comments from people. Well, I personally feel that it is a fresh look and I DO look really, really cute [And younger! 😉 ] with bangs ! By the way, I started off this post with a cute/crazy photo of me because I  miss being crazy <3.

Top L-R: Nano, Pek Yen, Ai Leng

Bottom L-R: Weng Chiew, Sam, Ee Jane, Pico, Camilla, Carson

In 2012, I kinda realized that as much as I do not enjoy going for certain events, at the end of the day, I would still go for it because I wanted to spend time with my friends/do not want to be left out because this cannot happen to me [Hahaha!!! ]. At the end of the day, when I do feel extremely tired and probably bored from repetitive activity throughout the whole day, when I look back at the photographs – I think so far, no regrets yet because I get to be with my dearest best friends ❤ .

Sam, Ee Jane, Pek Yen. 

Ee Jane came back for holidays last year and guess what, I feel happy and sad at the same time. I feel happy because she is back and we do get to meet up but it is sad because I feel the gap between us is increasing. It is all my fault because I never bother to keep in touch with her much. Why? Because I am selfish and all the time, I was trying to fix something else. But what I am glad is, towards the end of the year, our gap reduced and yea, I don’t feel the distance anymore for now . Especially when we actually talked about bird poop from 2012 till 2013 [Inside story =P] and the fact remains, we still talk about stuff like armpits, buttocks and telepathy .

Defphane and I :). 

At the beginning of the year, I went to meet my primary and secondary school friends. Meeting up with them reminded me that I love being friends with people who are simple and happy whereby, the friendship is sincere even without needing to interact with each other often . I love it more when I have something inside my heart to pour out, they are always there <3. Thank you so much my dears <3.

It has been the longest ever since I last received a bouquet of roses for Valentine’s day and in 2012, I received one by a really good surprise. I am truly happy and touched. I am thankful for everything that had happened and I truly believe that I was once really happy before things fall apart. Fish Leong has a song entitled 爱久见人心:

我比较喜欢现在的自己不太想回到过去
我常常为我们之间忽远忽近的关系担心或委屈
别人只一句话就刺痛心里每一根神经

爱久见人心? Yea, now I think so. I know where do I stand right now and how important I am but who cares about it anymore .

Putrajaya bridge.

In March, I went for the 4th Putrajaya International Hot Air Balloon Fiesta with this person whose hand I was holding the whole day. Back in the days where I was younger, I met one of my best friend’s girlfriend as a past. We shook hands and it felt cold, strange and awkward because it feels like as if the past and the present are trying to connect when in actuality, the past and present should never connect with one another.

Ever since that day, I wonder how does it feels like to be in the present’s position to meet the past. I spoke too soon because 3 years later, I was in that position. Holding his hands while his past and I look at each other while walking in the opposite direction gives me a strange feeling. It reminded me that this person once loved the past. It made me wonder if the past and I share any similarity at all and it made me think of many things at that point of time.

My belated birthday dinner at TGIF Sunway Pyramid : ). 

One day in March 2012, I was introduced to this girl. To me, she is the exact definition of ‘tak sedar diri’ and pretentious, for now I am very glad that I do not need to meet her anymore. Her arrogance, tak sedar diri-ness and being bangga over nothing has nothing to do with me anymore. To people who still thinks that she is nice/has no problem, I couldn’t be bothered anymore because now I know why the both of you can get along . Well, what do you expect from birds of the same feathers? Well, they flock and flap their wings together .

Woan Min, Carmen. 

Melissa and I. 

Apart from that, Woan Min, Carmen and Melissa treated me on my birthday! Thank you girls! ❤ And also, I received an unique gift from Ee Jane and something that I wanted from Nano and Pico . Thank you so much for the effort and thought. To everyone else who remembered my birthday, thank you so much . To people who purposely ignored my birthday, thank you too because I will ignore yours as well. You don’t expect me to not ignore you, aren’t you? 😉

A Leow, my Small B and I during CC Reunion Dinner 2012.

A Leow and I may not talk all the time but what I love about our buddy relationship is that despite not interacting much with each other, we would always remember each other’s birthday, sitting together during events, hoping for the best for each other [Especially during the hostel application period!] and wishing each other for Chinese New Year, Christmas, New Year and such, you name it .

Wei Shen and I during 7th College MKC 2011/2012.

In 2012, I was helping out with the makeup for 7th College MKC. It was a great experience because I really, really love doing makeup for people and I am trying to improve as well ! On that day, I saw can see that the juniors were so united and I feel so touched when they sang the theme song together. This is an experience that I never had in my freshman year. Why? Because I never join lo. Why I never join? Because I am not interested. Do I regret it? No, not yet because I know the reason for everything that I did in my freshman year ;).

Vivian Lim as the Mad Hatter female version and I! =D 

In 2012, I am very proud of myself for creating the Mad Hatter female version for one of my elective courses ! It is fun and I thank God that I wasn’t made to draw anything because I cannot draw an apple to save my own life =P … I can draw a star and sun though! And during our project presentation, I realized that it is never easy to study makeup courses especially if you are not artistically talented [Like me] but I am glad that I made it through ! Thank you God! 

In 2012, I attended a hostel dinner and finally, I had the chance to wear the blue dress for the second or third time =|… I think I need more excuses to wear pretty dress like this . Anyway, this dress is a birthday gift from Ee Jane and she has very good taste 😉 !

In 2012, I became more vain because I think my level of vanity increases proportionally with my age . Hahaha!! As Ee Hahn nicknamed me – Vain Pot, therefore I must always live up to my nickname. I just think that I look damn good in this photo. Do you think if I send this in to TVB – they would employ me? Or Hollywood? Or some modelling agency wanna hire me and make me their top model? Do you think I stand a chance? Do you think that I am a model/singer [I’ll go take singing and dancing classes if you say yes hahaha just joking!!! xD !!!]/actress material? 

Anyway, I am done prasan-ing because the whole point of the picture is… there is a another picture of it but a crazy version. Why I wanna show you the crazy version? Because I need to comfort myself that I am still as crazy as before .

There… Now you know, do not judge a book by its cover! I think I look cute in this photo… What do you think? Let me know  :

Sam, Pek Yen, Camilla and Nano at Chatime Kajang.

Chatime finally made its way to Kajang and I love Chatime! My favourite pick used to be lychee yakult qq but now I love roasted pearl milk tea with grass jelly and pearls ! What about you? Tell me your favourite Chatime drink! Anyway, I managed to gain 2kg in 2012 and now I am desperately trying to lose it because I think I look quite aunty from the back T___T. Don’t tell me that I think too much, I can’t stand looking this way/I am a vain pot.

Ee Hahn and Ala – at our old ponteng spot, Ayza!

I met my Form 6 best friends and these people gave me strength and confidence whenever I needed some. When I met Ee Hahn, I was reminded of the times in school where we used to chit chat before assembly begins about how we are not bothered about our Mathematics homework and proceed to talk about twin peaks and just… everything else in between. When I met Kean Jie, I am reminded of the times in school where he will say somethg pun-ny like ‘penekan kata’ and when I don’t get it, he will give me the look and gets quite sien with me because I am Miss Adorable =P…

Nano is locked outside of the car! =P

Nano is still my victim whenever I needed someone to hear my rants because SMS-ing and calling her is free! Also, I wish that I can have Internet wherever I am so that I can message Ee Jane on Facebook and ask for some head whacks because sometimes, I do need some just to wake up and it is very important to me. These two best friends of mine keep me sane and on my toes most of the time. So please continue scolding and giving me head whacks ya !

Also in 2012, Nano was relocated to Skudai, Johore and with that, I think I am all alone here in Kajang because no one is free to layan me during weekends anymore. This is sad because Ee Jane is all the way at India [Across the sea!] and Nano is now across another state! 

In 2012, as I have mentioned, it is a walk down my past. I met W [Click here and here] and he was with his girlfriend. Although W and I were never officially together because things screwed up, it still feels strange to meet W with his present girlfriend and we both look at each other in the eye as simple past tense. Everything that happened between us is now water under the bridge. To me, once it’s over, it is over. As strange as I want to feel when we both met, deep down I know that W and I can never ever be friends anymore. Why? Because what he did and said is totally unacceptable. Yes, even until today.

In 2012 as well, I met another person from my past in 2008. This person is another person whom I do not want to meet anymore because he reminded of the times where we missed out on each other on the crossroad. With him, even as a friend, I feel unappreciated and there are questions that I have was left unanswered. Back then, I really, really do want the answer but today, no, I don’t need them anymore for now. What I do not like is that if we are not meant to be, I do not want to be put into positions and situations where it all reminded me of how much fate and coincidence that we share so far.

I hate looking out of the window just to catch a glimpse of you and when I do find myself doing so, I have to stop myself from doing such a thing. Why? Because I know it isn’t right and whatever you did and say to me that night in 2012 and 2010, I have seen your true colours. I have forgotten about the night in 2010 but thank you for reminding me again after 2 years. Whatever you want to think of me, please go ahead because I do not care anymore for now! Are you important to me? No for now because from the very beginning, I was the only one who placed importance on you and never you on me. In 2012, I finally understood this part of the lyric in one of my favourite songs:

曾经唱过的歌 分享过的笑声
在心中不断拉扯
想念不能承认 偷偷擦去泪痕
冬天过了还是会很冷

回忆是最可怕的敌人

~Diao Le by A-Mei~

In the very same year, I realized that sometimes, the longer you know a person, the more you will never be able to understand that one person and the more complicated it becomes. I have nothing much to say to this person anymore for now because what is there to say when this person says one thing and does another [As if the person will admit it?]? Everyone is a hypocrite in their own way but as for you, I think you are way too extreme.

To these few people:

现在我有什么不 Okay

~I’m Okay by Athena~

Cassandra and I! ❤

In 2012, I went travelling rather often and I really, really do enjoy traveling although it is tiring! I realized that in 2012, I walked a lot and to me, that is enjoyable although I think I became much darker than I was in 2011. Still, walking helped me to relax as I do entertain my thoughts and sometimes, if I do think about you during my thinking while walking, I would send you a SMS/give you a call just to let you know that I am thinking about you. Why did I do so? Because I wanted you to smile and think about me too ;).

Xiao Ting and I at MPIS 2012/2013 <3. 

I attended my current residential college dinner this year [That makes two different annual hostel dinner that I attended in 2012!] and it feels different. I sat on a table with 9 other people whom I do not know at all but I am very glad that all of them tried to make me feel home and as part of them that towards the end of the night, I do feel home and as a part of them . This is the dinner that I attended and I am not thrilled about it from the beginning. The night before the dinner, I was on Facebook with Ee Jane discussing about hairstyles and yea, this shows my lack of enthusiasm for the dinner because knowing myself, I would definitely prepare and discuss about it weeks before the dinner takes place.

To be very honest, on the day of the dinner itself, I thought about just going home [And if Ee Jane knows about it, she would probably whack my head]. But then, the dinner fees has already been charged into my account and when I think about it, I did all my best to avoid this particular person because it isn’t right to not avoid when you can do so for certain reasons.

That afternoon in my room, I told myself that no matter what happens, I should dress up [Like a diva ] and show up because that is what Samantha Quek would do. I am glad that I did because that night, I have found many new friends and I had fun as well !

TIMELINE

I saw this on Ee Jane’s Facebook wall and decided to give it a go ! The words that I saw in order:

Love, youth, beauty

I don’t mind youth and beauty but I mind love . Ee Jane, Nano and Pico saw money and that is what I want T__T. I actually have to prick my eyes open just to look for the word money . Also, this is just a game for fun so I shall not take it seriously yet =P… But when I really, really do have no money in 2013, I shall blame it on this then .

s

And I wanted to share this lovely photo of Porkie and I because I think we look damn good together in this photo

As I have mentioned, the year 2012 is a year where I took a walk down my past and I realize that, feelings don’t change easily. To that 4 person, thank you for still liking me =]… I appreciate it although I am quite sure that I would not be able to return it. As of now, I have no idea how to love a person anymore.

Smile!

All in all, the year 2012 has been a year full of changes and it is indeed a walk down my past. What I have always been glad is that I am courageous enough to face it with an open heart ! I have learnt a good deal of lessons in 2012 and I am going to pen it down so that I will never ever forget it.

The song that will always reminded me of the year 2012 would be Through The Rain by Mariah Carey because I can relate myself to it in every way possible. And yes, I still believe that for now, there would always be sunshine and rainbows after the rain .

The Moments of 2012

So the world did not end yet in 2012 [Although I half wish that it did so that I do not have to sit for my finals but at the same time, I am not married to Wang Lee Hom yet …], and now ladies and gentlemen – my moments in the year 2012!

The Happiest

a) When Ee Jane came back for holidays! =D !!

Ee Jane and I <3. 

b) Having a hostel to stay [Yea I know. What a thing to say right! But to me, it means not having to wake up at 6am or earlier every single day just for classes]

c) When I received my exam results! 

d) Meeting up with my Kajang best friends. The thought of it made me smile because I really, really do miss them a lot <3.

Helen and I <3. 

Winnie, Ching Yin, Sam, Defphane <3. 

My Nano! ❤

My Pico! ❤

LeiKen and I with our Chatime drinks! =D

Kaki ponteng gang in Form 6: Ala, Ee Hahn, Sam, Nano <3. 

Muka/Rambut tepi jalan Tan Kean Jie! =P

e) Having breakfast at old Apex – be it prawn mihun with no taugeh, curry mihun with no meat and taugeh or char kuih teow with no taugeh <3… This is my little drop of heaven during my weekend =)…

Char kuih teow with no taugeh is love! =P

f) During my holidays, I worked at Low Yat Plaza and I had Big Apple doughnuts consistently for a few days. This cute guy remembered my order by the second or third day and no matter how many times I try to pretend to led him to think that I would pick some other variant, he would always guess the right one because I never change my mind  !

One day, his colleague told me to return the following day because he wanted to treat me doughnuts. I laughed, bought the same three variants but I did not take it seriously. The next day, I returned to the kiosk and he was there! Guess what, he treated my bunch of girlfriends and I! =P !! It was such a lovely gesture and what makes it sweeter is when he came up to me while I was working just to ask for my number. I refused to give him my number, he insisted. I refused him a few times and he kept on insisting.

When I see his determination, I told him that he can have my Facebook instead of my phone number =P…

h) Spending quality time with my family <3.

Sam, Ferlynne, Cassandra <3. 

i) Having more than enough money to spend for now .

j) Going for Christmas shopping and bought many dream items of mine! ❤

k) Receiving my first Christmas present from this someone special – thank you so much! ❤ : ) And it is such a wonderful surprise from you as well! 😉

Thank you ;). 

l) Understood one of the real meaning of Christmas – the season of giving and receiving probably for the first time in my life .

m) When I did what I am supposed to do one year ago. Good riddance!

n) Walking to and fro from class everyday. There is a bus service but I don’t really use it because I actually enjoyed the short/long walk. During the short-long walk, I think about food, events that had happened, people and you =).

o) The many times lovely dinner and drink at Marini’s on 57. To this person, thank you so much for just being there 

p) Winning a Guerlain perfume!  You have no idea how much I am in love with Guerlain’s perfume!

q) Being the proud owner of two Guerlain’s star products <3. I think my friends got sick of me/thinks that I am mad when I started talking about my two newborn babies!! 

r) Going for many random shopping moments and lovely dinners that follow <3.

s) Oh yes! How can I forget about this – my birthday present from dearest Ee Jane, Nano and Pico <3. Thank you so much! ❤

t) Getting to know Vivian Leong, Angeley Ho, Min Leong, Wei Lun and Shuen Yu! =D !

Vivian and I <3.

The Saddest

a) When I realized that all this while, in some people’s opinion – I am just useful. So that is how you view me, now I know.

b) Going through many nights of deep thinking on what I should do.

c) Realizing that I wasn’t appreciated in any ways by 3 person. Thanks a lot.

d) Sitting on an empty table and I do people watching. Well actually, I am just watching you. I wanted to cry but I told myself that I am too pretty to cry so I sucked them back to where they are supposed to be. So I think, I am only sad for the first 30 minutes .

e) When I realized that I wasn’t such a good friend as I thought I was after all. I am sorry T__T…

f) When you don’t keep your words.

The Most Afraid

Making two important decisions in my life this year. I am not saying what it is right here because I don’t think it is really needed. But yea, I thank God, my family and best friends for the full support. To those of you who aren’t very supportive, thank you because I did it.

The Angriest

a) When you don’t keep your words and accuse me of not keeping my words.

b) When you think what you say is law and try to force me apply your so very awesome laws into my life. To this two person, excuse me, I have my own laws in life for now and I don’t need yours.

c) When this idiot told someone that Mel and I has been hounding him for work. Oh gee, we did hound you for work. Now I wanna say your awesome cards, anime and tournaments are making a slave out of US. *Standing ovation* <— YOU do deserve this because you are so PERFECT and you have such wonderful work ethics that I actually enjoyed and miss working with you right now  !

d) When I see through certain people (Again!). I am angry but what made me laugh at the same time is because this two people who saling kutuk-mengutuk, are actually the same type of human. I think the reason why they do not like each other/cannot get along is because they are too similar but they just cannot realize it =P…

e) When my sister decided that drying up one side of my contact lens and sprinkling sand over my camera is the best way to return my stuff! -_____-

The Most Thankfully Surprised

a) Receiving a Christmas SMS from a long lost best friend. I thought that I was forgotten but receiving that SMS reminded me that so far, rain or shine, every year I will still receive a Christmas SMS from this long lost best friend ;).

b) Attending this event and I surprised myself with my own courage for managing to pull it through the night with smiles just because I believe that I can do it even if it means doing it without you.

Because Samantha is still Miss Adorable =P !

c) 4 years after 2008, for being able to leave everything behind when we meet face to face again. This is not and never meant to be – now I know why 😉 !

d) Met my simple past tense friend [Click here] in a bookstore and realizing that no matter how much I cannot forgive him, there is still a sense of familiarity. But this sense of familiarity is one that can never be the same ever again.

e) Meeting Revati, my Primary 1 friend at MPIS!!! You have no idea how glad and excited I am to see her! 😉 !

Revati and I at MPIS 2012/2013 <3. 

f) Having roomies which are not light sleepers . Hahaha! Yes, I am very afraid to have light sleepers roomies for now because I am so used to sharing rooms with people who are deep sleepers just like me =P… But then if there is a real fire, the three of us would probably mati terbakar la then =X…

Chia Hui, Sam, Xiao Ting <3.

g) Meeting new friends in my new residential college .

Photo credits to Jason Yeo. To all of you, thank you for making me feel home <3.

The Most Tulan [Annoyed]

a) When this person thought that I would actually care about all the comparisons being made. Thank you for all your poisonous spit. As I have mentioned in my moments of 2010 and 2011 [Click here and here] in the same section, for now it remains the same till this very millisecond. To someone else, this goes out to you too.

b) When you say one thing and do another. Ada mulut cakap orang, tak ada mulut tegur sendiri.

c) When this particular person wants to save petrol by troubling my best friend on purpose. Excuse me, please drive your own fat ass shiny car and get your fully loaded purse to pay for your own petrol.

d) When I have to compromise during Chinese New Year this year [Click here to read all about it] during lunch. The reason why I am annoyed is because I am not given a chance to say anything or to even give my opinion and not only that, I feel like I have wasted my money.

The Most Regretted

a) Not telling this idiot off during Chinese New Year lunch this year as mentioned above because I have to give face to some of my friends. Geez, you are so lucky.

b) Eating and sleeping too much resulted in gaining 2kg … Don’t tell me that I am too thin!!! I tersangat-sangatnya menyesal now T______T!!!

The Most Stressed

I can’t remember much… Probably before sitting for any exam papers I supposed =P…

The Most Self-Satisfied

a) Slapping this person and another person right in their face at the same time. To you whom I once believe that we are meant to be, I am glad that today, I am proven to be wrong. The many years and days of wondering has now ended because this fairy tale is one that ends with:

They both walk on different paths and live happily ever after without each other ;). 

b) Putting a big fat full stop to a story that should have ended a long, long time ago.

The Most Embarrassing

Due to bad memory, I could not remember any =P… And you are not welcomed to remind me of any!!! =P !!!

The Most Shocked

a) The events that leads to this post  [Click here]. Today, I would declare it as a mere coincidence because it is meant to stay that way .

b) The fact that there is almost no distance no matter how much or how hard I try to avoid certain people. Why do I want to avoid you? Because I thought that I wasn’t brave enough to face it. But turns up that it became a much proper closure for me because of my courage to move forward and leave the past behind! 

The Most Confused

a) When certain people tells me things that I do not want to know at all and I do not know if they expect any answers/opinions from me. I don’t know how to respond and I do not know what do you expect from me.

b) The few times this particular person insulted me. I have no idea if you mean it or you are just saying it for the sake of saying it without using your brain. Don’t you know that sometimes when people share with you their heart’s content, it is NOT MEANT for you to use it back against them in a insulting way? I guess you do not know and I do hope that someday someone will teach you a damn good lesson about it.

Also, this comes under the most confusing moments instead of annoying because I am indeed confused with this person’s personality. Sometimes I begin to wonder if I still know you well enough.

The Most Excited

a) Planning for holidays, shopping and outings <3.

b) When Ee Jane told me that she is returning for holidays soon! ❤ See you soon!!! ❤ !!!

c) Receiving money! 

~*~

The year 2012 has been a year full of unexpected changes. Changes in attitude, mindset and most important, a change of heart towards two person whom I once deemed as important in my life. In many ways, I am extremely glad that I managed to be at peace with myself in the year 2012 by leaving this two once important person behind. Apart from that, the year 2012 too is like a walk down my past and this is something that I do not enjoy in a way. Why? Because the past ought to be left in the past. Anyway, this will come under a separate post, probably under the summary of my year 2012 😉 !

All in all, I hope that in a way I am ready for the year 2013 – a brand new year with new hopes and lessons learnt from the year 2012. To all my friends and readers…

Happy New Year! =D <3