You know those Friendster bulletion board and E-Mails that you receive with the title You Know You Are A Malaysian When?
Yes, you know that. So here’s mine, entitled You Know You Are From The Cashiering Department On The Star When…
1. You know all the FAQ by customers.
All time FAQ by customers are as follow:
a) Where to register for the Star card ah?
And your reply is always, “Oh, Customer Service.”Customers will then proceed to turn their head to the back, while pointing their finger at the Customer Service office, asking, “That one ah?” and your answer is always, “Yes, that one.”
b) EH! Not 3 ikat of sayur for 99 cents meh?! Why is it 1.50 one?! or EH! Not 8 oranges/apples for 5.99 meh?! Why 7.20 one?!
And you will look up, explaining to them about how the screen cannot show promotion items and that they can refer to the receipt. Customers will then look confuse and they will eye on you suspiciously, as if you want to cheat their money and then you will proceed to ignore them and start to curse and swear if they come with a full trolley.
When the receipt is finally printed out, customers will check the receipt to see if what you say is true and when they realized that you never cheat them, they smile and walk away. And you will smirk behind them ’cause you are correct =p.
c) Apply for Star card must pay ah?
Cashier: Yes. Must pay RM10.
Customer: *Muka terkejut* WHAT? RM10 AHHH?? The card got what use ahhh?
Cashier: Oh… to collect points lo…
Cashier: Then you exchange for some thing laaaaa. Ha-ha…
Customers: HAH? Worth it or not wan orh? Exchange for what ah??
Cashier: Err, don’t know?
And then the next question by customer, kindly refer to Part 1 a).
2. You feel like bringing your CD collection to the Star
Because they record the radio play and replay it a dozen times a day that you can even memorize the lyrics and can even sing along and you can’t hear the same song ever again [even if it’s your favourite song].
The supermarket music and music section song clashes together that you don’t know which one to listen to and you talk about how you want to bring your whole CD collection or the songs in your computer for the Star to use because:
December Music List:
a) The whole album of Love Songs Collection II
b) The whole of Westlife Coast To Coast Album
c) Christmas songs
d) The recorded radio play
e) Farm’s Best advertisement on radio [Everybody loves Farm’s Best -________-]
January Music List:
a) Chinese New Year songs -_____- Everyyyy singleeee dayyyyy [supermarket song]
b) Pussycat Dolls whole album [music department]
c) The Ginvera Green Tea Shower Scrub and Bio Essence advertisement on radio.
Everyday the same one okay??
3. You will feel whacking the big screen TV for replaying the same advertisement over and over again.
a) F&N Sweetened Milk advertisement
There is a scene of a little girl on the dining table with her teddy bear and her mum at the back, cooking.
Girl: Hari ini, saya nak masak kari ayam, buat air bandung dan PUDING! [Today, I want to cook chicken curry, make ‘air bandung’ and pudding!]
Teddy bear: -No respond-
Girl: Uh-oh! Terlupaaaaa saya! [Uh-oh! I forgot!]
And she runs to her mother.
Girl: Nak beli susu boleh mama? [Mum, I want to buy milk.]
Mum: Boleh sayang. [Of course my dear]
And her mum opens the cupboard and take out a can of F&N sweetened milk for her -_____________-.
b) The Massage Chair advertisment
Old man: This massage chair ah, very comfortable la. I don’t understand our children you know. Why ah, when talk about comfort hor, they only think about their mum? Actually dad also need a massage chair like this one ma.
Old woman: Ooo, you jealous la now?
Old man: No la. Now our children are already successful, I’m contented.
Then the daughter will come in the scene.
Daughter: Dad, you are the best.
-__________________-!! And this two advertisement will replay again and again as long as you are in the supermarket.
4. You groan when you get counter 11, 12 and 10.
There’s a few reason, one of them is because you will never get to sit but to stand all day long. To add on, counter 11 is a bit cacat-ed because you have to key in password to undo your previous step and for counter 12, you have to slam the cash box cover really hard or else it will open up again like those box with a boxer hand in. And not to forget, counter 10 make funny sounds like this – TIT TIT TIT!!! suddenly when you are scanning halfway and then, everyone will look at you and so, it’s not a bad thing after all, ’cause you are THE STAR for a few seconds.
5. You know all this:
a) 070000878 – code for the spinach/kangkung/sawi. 1 is for 50 cents. 3 is for 99 cents. If you take 2, it’s for RM1. Don’t waste your 1 cent. Take one more even if you don’t need it just to save the 1 cent. You can choose to either feed your pet or to decorate your living hall.
b) 100002569 – telur ayam gred c
c) 59001 – mee kuning
d) 59002 – kueh teow
e) 59003 – mee tikus
f) 070000049 – bawang putih 500g
g) 55001 – mushroom segar ! haha 😀
h) 010001458 – bihun Bintang
i) 010008939 – Desa Mauripan Instant Yeast
6. You start to complain when you have to eat your lunch at 2 p.m.
Simple. What is left are the leftovers :D.
Now people on the Star, tell me how true can this get